Thursday, December 11, 2014

Impulsively unsentimental

I am sentimental. About things. I am sentimental and my memory is sharp so I can look at something and recall a moment or a feeling or an event or an accomplish so clearly that I never want to get rid of it because of how easily that thing jogs my memory.

Ticket stubs. Clothes. Cards. Jewelry.

I am not a hoarder. Thankfully. I put meaning on few things. And none of those things are, like, my empty water bottles or every catalog I have ever received. My house isn't overtaken by things. But they're there. In a box. In a drawer. The things exist.

A few weeks ago -- the Sunday before Thanksgiving -- I was impulsively unsentimental.

It was late on Sunday night. It was cold and dreary and ugly. I was putting away laundry and, at the bottom of a drawer, were a few pieces of clothing that I had tucked away when I should have given them away.

My feelings on all of it had changed.

What was in the bottom of that drawer wasn't memories, it was clutter. It was taking up valuable space in my house and in my mind and in my heart and it needed to go. It needed to go right away.

Instead of being tossed amongst other things in my pile of things to donate, I got in my car, I drove to one of those not-actually-a-charity-but-posing-as-one donation bins that is a few blocks from my house and I dumped it. Gone. Out of sight. Out of mind. Out of my heart. Out of my life.

And I've done it a few times since then. I'll remember something as I'm getting ready for work in the morning and I'll run to wherever I've squirreled it away and it goes straight out to the garbage. I tear pages out of journals and destroy them.

I have no room. I have no space for it anymore. In my house. In my head. In my heart. 

I must be making room for something.

Or someone.

I wonder what.

4 comments:

JBean said...

Oh you are so brave! I am still holding onto some if things and wonder if I'll ever part with them? But I like your notion that perhaps you must in irder to make room for someone else. Inspiring!

klavdesigns said...

so brave. so smart. so wonderful.

‎Scheherazade (the sarcastic woman) said...

I love the idea that you pose - making room for someone else! I'm trying to follow this advice and clear out some clutter too, especially with Christmas around the corner!

Sabrina! said...

I'm the opposite of a hoarder, I love throwing things away! I get such satisfaction from getting rid of stuff I don't need or use. But I'm also weird and buy one roll of paper towels at a time because I don't want to store the extras... I'll chalk it up to my car-less city life than my own insanity.

The good thing is, you're preserving so much of your life in virtual blog form, all the things that matter. The rest is just 'stuff' :)

 
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