Thursday, July 31, 2014


All this week, I have been playing chicken with the eHarmony homepage.

I keep staring at it. Because that's as far as I can get.

And I feel like a lunatic for it.

I promised a smart and wonderful friend/life adviser/personal cheerleader that this week was going to be The Week and there's still time. This week can still be The Week. I just need my eyes to stop welling up with tears every time I get to the eHarmony homepage and am expected to click on something and a normal person.

This shouldn't be this hard. I shouldn't be this scared. I can answer a few questions. I can write about myself. I've kept a damn blog for almost 10 years. Of course I can write about myself. Picking out a few pictures won't be so bad. I have pictures. Mostly dressed in obnoxiously patriotic garb or cuddling with a pie, but I have pictures.

What I don't have, clearly, is a fucking spine. Because anyone with a spine would call off the staring contest and click the damn link because this action doesn't commit me to anything or anyone. Or even a charge to my credit card. It's a click. One click to other clicks to however much or as little as I want. I am in control.

I just don't feel like I am. 

I have such a hard time getting out of my own damn way.

I'm not really that great at being a person.


Accidentally Me said...

You're right, she is smart and wonderful...

Today's the day! I can feel it! You're gonna lock your office door for a couple hours, hop on gChat and we will bank this out in no time. Then we can start weeding through the flotsam as soon as it starts showing itself!!!

Sabrina said...

Eek, good luck! Online dating makes you very vulnerable... you're inviting strangers into your life constantly. But it's worth a shot and if you decide it's not for you, you'll have no regrets for trying!

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