Wednesday, July 09, 2014

About a Boy, part 3.

The reason I wrote about C at all wasn't because I think that he's my destiny. It isn't because the story was all that interesting or steamy or anything, really, other than a lot of reciprocated flirting.

I wrote about C because it was an experience that I needed to have. It was a reminder that I needed.

Perhaps it is a sign that I am old or maybe just out of practice, but I had completely forgotten what it felt like. Going out as a big group. Leaving from and returning to the same place. Drinks and camaraderie. It reminded me of college. When you went out with a group that included that boy, where you and everyone else knew that he fancied you. When the only unknown was when he would act on it.

But, what I had forgotten about even more than that college-era buildup was what it felt like when a guy genuinely likes you. When it's so bloody obvious that it's right there in the air between you that you can practically reach out and take it into your hand.

The Coach never genuinely liked me.

It's foolish that I needed waste years and travel halfway around the world to figure that out but I did. I needed to go halfway around the world and meet a Midwesterner who actually, genuinely, unabashedly wanted to be around me, who I knew for all of a week and who I will likely never see again, in order to understand that The Coach never did.

And that's why I wrote about C. He unknowingly gave me a great gift and I want to remember every detail.

Because this was about him but it also wasn't. It was about another guy. It was about The Coach. But mostly it was about me.

2 comments:

Sabrina said...

((hugs)) I've wasted time on a guy like that and while it wasn't years, it became obvious to me SO much later, that this guy was not into me. I ignored all red flags, warnings from my friends and even his friends. It's hard to break out of a mindset when emotions are involved. I'm glad this experience with C taught you a valuable lesson!

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

I am glad that C came along and showed you how it should feel to have someone completely and totally into you. Sometimes we have to learn those lessons in unconventional ways...

 
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