Friday, May 09, 2014

Just life

This is always when I have the hardest time blogging.

Life is just life sometimes. That's what life is now. I am not remarkably happy or remarkably sad. Things aren't exciting. Things aren't boring.

It's just life.

Tonight, I was driving home from another Friday night dinner with Lucy and Chet and their boys -- how many hundreds have we had? How many times have I blogged about it? -- which is a longstanding tradition and always a treat. As I drove, my mind wandered and settled, as it usually does after our Friday night dinners, on how different my life and Lucy's life really are.

It's generally a time I can feel a little sorry for myself. It is quite easy to do while driving home, alone, to an empty house.

I indulge in that a lot. Too much, probably.

But is this really so bad?

That's what I asked myself tonight. Because, when I look at the picture that is my life, all I ever allow myself to see is what's missing. I ignore the blue sky and the shining sun. I only see what's not there.

What might never be there.

Maybe this is just my life. Maybe this is what I get. Maybe this is what it will always be.

Not at all how I pictured it.

Still incredibly blessed.


Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

I can relate... I am the only unmarried/kidless person in my group of friends and sometimes I wonder, "is this all my life is every going to be" which is then followed by the thought, "and if so would it really be so bad?" If I am honest, I pine for the life some of my friends have - the stable relationships, the healthy kids - it's the life I thought I'd have at this age. But they are good at reminding me that as much as I pine for what they have, they are also envious of my life and the freedom I have to do exactly what I want to do when I want to do it. I do get mopey sometimes and wonder why my life looks so vastly different than I thought it would look. But then I remember the it looks vastly different in really good ways, too.

Danielle said...

The phrase "the grass isn't always greener on the other side" exists for this very reason. Its like I'm stuck in this gear of comparing myself to other people and it will always make me miserable.

I may or may not chant "comparison is the thief of joy" until I start to dwell on something else I'm sulking about. Usually it takes a good nights sleep to get me out of that funk. Which I can have cuz I has no children, boo-yah.

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