Friday, May 16, 2014

Forward Momentum

I shouldn't have had that second cup of coffee.

Or watched last night's Grey's Anatomy, maybe. Or left work early. Or had that bowl of macaroni and cheese that wasn't really very good.

I don't know where I went wrong.

For the last month, I have had all of this forward momentum. To the Derby. To finalizing for Brazil and signing paperwork for the condo and packing and Mother's Day and board meetings. Dog sitting. Haircuts. Shopping. Planning. Preparing.

And, I swear, it just stopped. It all just screeched to a halt -- maybe it was when I changed into my hoodie -- and now all I can think about is how four weeks ago today The Coach told me he likely wasn't taking that job.

And how, four weeks ago tomorrow, he officially turned down the offer.

Maybe it's the weather. The weather feels like it did four weeks ago today. There's that same bite in the air. It's cool. It isn't cold. It feels like that day.

I don't know what to blame it on.

So I think that I will shop online for a bit. Mix up the ingredients so that Baby A and I can whip up an apple crisp for dessert tonight. Acknowledge all that was shitty about that Friday four weeks ago. Paint my nails. Move forward.


Anonymous said...

Hope you feel better soon! It will heal with time.

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

Bleh. I hate it when the reality of life catches up with us and it's a sad kind of reality. I have basically traveled my ass off for the last year to try to out-run err out-fly some of the realities of my life. But it always seems to catch up with you at some point. Like when I'd wait at a gate for a plane or see something that reminded me of my Minnesota boyfriend or saw a couple holding hands or something else completely random would bring on that sinking 'ugh that actually happened' feeling. I just tried to keep moving but that is probably not the best way to deal with things... Thinking of you and hoping that raw emotion feeling passes soon...

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