Monday, April 21, 2014

The Week That Was

It was setting up to be the perfect week.

On Monday night, I gave my first presentation to City Council and, according to those who know about these things, I killed it. As soon as I was done with Council, I met up with my real estate agent and signed an offer on a home.

As I was walking in to see my agent, Lucy sent me a text message: they had two offers on their house, which hadn't been on the market a week, at their asking price. She was giddy.

And The Coach had a job interview lined up.

There was so much possibility in the air. I wrote about it.

On Tuesday night, the timing worked out and I got to see The Coach for a few hours. He was stressed about his interview, expecting that he would get an offer, unsure about what he would do, but the time we spent together was effortless. Easy. I see him and it's like we've never been apart. When I'm with him, it's infuriatingly simple.

Wednesday came with the delivery of our Derby tickets. We were sent four tickets, rather than the two that we ordered. Lucy and I lost our mind at this turn of events: we can sell the extra tickets and cover the cost our own, making our trip significantly less fiscally irresponsible than we previously assumed that it would be. The Coach's interview was Wednesday: he said that it went well and he made a few complimentary remarks about the program. It made me think that taking job wasn't the longshot that he'd made it seem.

He was offered the job on Thursday. He seemed tortured about the decision. Sick about making the choice. I should have known then.

I got the house on Thursday.

Everything was happening.

Everything was going to work out. It was going to be that week where all of the pieces came together.

Except that it wasn't. He told me on Friday that he wasn't taking the job. He turned it down on Saturday.

Maybe the pieces did come together last week. Maybe this was everything working out as it should. Maybe this was my fresh start, my new house, my new life. My Derby tickets and my forward motion.

Away from The Coach, it would seem.


Gloria Johnson said...

With so many good things happening I can see exactly why you got your hopes up. You are such a good, sweet person, so pretty, so smart. Have you asked the Coach specifically what he sees in the future?

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry you're sad. Unfortunately, life isn't Hollywood and you have to make sacrifices. Do you see a future (rest of your life) with the Coach? Maybe you should have a serious heart-to-heart and let him know how you feel. If he cannot sacrifice his career for you, then would you consider moving out there and then finding a new job (bad timing now that you just bought a house)? I know that it's very hard to balance two careers and ultimately, one person has to give in (but I find it works out in the long run).

A said...

Would I consider it? Yes. Even with the house. He doesn't really have the type of a career where there are tons of jobs to choose from. (Which is part of the reason I'm so bummed he didn't take this one - because it was one of the few that is nearby.)

But now? No. We're not anywhere near that point.

As far as his future, G: he's been saying for a long time that he was ready to move back home. And then he had the chance to and didn't. That's what broke my heart more than anything, to be honest.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear this. I've been reading for a while but don't know all the tiny details about your relationship. I understand how you feel. I am about to have a third interview for a job in another state and as I am excited to make a big move, I am afraid because I will be doing it all by myself as a 31 year old single girl but also I will be moving away from my friends and my ex boyfriend so it would seem to be the final cap on the relationship where we would really be done forever. (We were together for 9 years).

I think life is short and maybe you should go for it and have the heart to heart talk. At least when you're 80, you won't have to wonder "what if?". If the talk doesn't go well, at least you tried. And if it does….. well that would be fantastic. :)
Good luck.

Sabrina said...

I'm sorry, A. Like the Anonymous commenter above, I don't know all the details of your relationship with the Coach. But I can imagine it feels like a punch in the face when he turned down an opportunity to be near you, when there are so few opportunities to begin with.

The big talks are really HARD, it's a little soul-sucking to be the one to bring it up first. But in this situation, it may bring you the piece of mind you want - whether his long term plans involve you, and where he sees you both ending up.


Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

First off, thanks for the congratulatory comment. :)

I am new to your blog so don't know the back story of your relationship but it sounds like it's a long distance one... I'm sorry that he didn't take the job as it sounds like it would have brought him closer to you. It's really tough to make career decisions early in a relationship (not sure not long you two have been together). I found out about my Charlotte move 3 months after I started dating someone. I really cared about him, but it was too early to say no to a job and risk financial difficulty... and it would have put too much pressure on him. Flash forward 13 months later and I am looking to move home and we might pick up where we left off, but that would also require a big discussion about where it would go and it's hard to have those big discussions...

So anyways, that is my long and rambling way of saying I feel for you and that I hope you get some clarity soon.

Anonymous said...

The coach is blocking your ability to meet a guy who is willing to sacrifice something, anything! This has been going on for years and now his actions are the complete opposite of what he says he feels. No use having the talk. He's done enough. Plus why would you buy a house if you really thought he would be in your future? Uh I'm a long time reader and I'm pissed at this whole coach thing.


Kari said...

Wait -- house? I need more details. The sooner the better as it will distract me from plotting against the coach...or plotting how to tell him to get his head out of his @ss. I do think you need to have a convo with him...but that can wait --I want details about the house:) So excited for you (about the house -- not about the coach)

Accidentally Me said...

Awesome on the're gonna love it! And also on all of the other great things that happened last week.

My (ever-changing) feelings on The Coach are pretty well known at this point, but I am sure I will give you more conflicting advice this week that you will summarily ignore, even when I change it to something totally different...I guess it's kind of our thing:-)

But really, I think you learned a lot about him and about yourself through all of this. At least enough to know that this "we're not really anything, except when we are" has probably run it's course. I guess it probably ran its course a year ago, but it has DEFINITELY run out now. Which doesn't necessarily mean the end, it just means the end of the undefined-"no, it's totally cool" phase of this.

Anonymous said...

-I'm with Candace

A said...

I hear you guys! Loud and clear!

Flmgodog said...

Congratulations on the house! I think you will love home ownership!!!

Uhhh, I go back and forth on the coach but I gotta say this time A it's loud and clear.
You deserve someone who's whole world is you! You clearly are awesome and he should know it. Don't waste another minute.

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the house! The purchasing process is stressful but the end result is amazingly fun. Hopefully we get to hear about your decorating and renovating adventures in the future. :)

I'm so sorry about the way things happened with the Coach, but I'm glad you ended up with a clearer indication of what his priorities are. If you need to have that conversation with him, you now have a darned good excuse. And if it has helped you figure out you are ready to move on... hopefully the new neighborhood brings someone awesome your way.


Anonymous said...

I've been reading for a while and also am in a relationship where it doesn't look like the "norm". That being said, I guess the question you need to ask yourself is if you would rather him closer MORE than you want to be with the Coach. Because as of this moment, you are in a long distance relationship, whether you define it that way or not. If you want him closer more than anything else, then he (as Candace said), is blocking your potential for something better to come into your life, to give you EXACTLY what you WANT and deserve!

Anonymous said...

Was just given this advice as it relates to my fledgling real estate career but I think in applies here.
Don't make someone a priority who is treating you as an option.
Congrats on the house. Life has a funny way of working out better than you planned or imagined.

Unknown said...

A lot seems to be happening at the same time, as you’ve got the house you wanted, derby concert ticket, and the Coach’s interview. It just a little heartbreaking that he didn’t accept the job offer. But in my opinion, everything has its proper timing. And while you wait for that to happen, you can enjoy and focus on decorating your new house. How is it, btw?

Leonard George @ RE/MAX Crest Realty Westside

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