Friday, January 31, 2014

An egg roll and a thought

I was the singlest of all single girls last night.

I worked late and, on my way home, I picked up Chinese takeout.

I ate the egg roll while I was driving.

I ate the rest when I got home. Over an episode of New Girl, if you must know. I reached the height of laziness and ate more than I actually wanted to eat because I didn't want to have to pack up the leftovers.

I read a book in the bath.

And then I felt pretty sick from the Chinese food overdose. So, I watched more New Girl on Netflix. In bed. Not wearing pants.

Fittingly, it was the episode where their gynecologist friend informs Jess and CeCe that they only have so many child-bearing years and then Jess freaks out and gets her fertility checked. The episodes features the line "I have a lot of eggs...unfortunately, I don't have a lot of sausage." I was equally amused and not amused. It hit close to home. (I have no idea the status of my fertility.)

I wanted to blog but I was in a MSG coma. My typing fingers were sluggish.

Then I mustered the strength to get ready for bed.

While I was brushing my teeth, which I find to be a great time to mull over life's mysteries, I was struck with a thought. It came from nowhere -- except maybe from the most single of all single evenings -- and seriously don't read too much into it because I am still in a really weird place.

I have been blogging for over nine years. I would be the first to rave about all of the wonderful, smart, interesting people I have met through this medium and the things that I have learned and the positive experiences that I have had. Yet I am terrified of online dating. Scared to the point of paralysis. It makes no sense. I am a moron.

We'll get there, you guys.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Enough already

I am not going to dwell on everything that hasn't gone right this month (my commute, every aspect that makes my building habitable for human beings, my staff, chipped nail polish, long distances, dry skin, crabby husbands, favors gone wrong, THE WEATHER) because I want to move away from dwelling on what I am unhappy about because it's a lazy excuse for blogging but can we just stop for a second and acknowledge what is a fact and the truth?

January has been awful.

January has been so constantly awful (hello, the weather?) that it is actually comical. It's so bad it's funny. (Seriously. The weather.)

On my drive to the office this morning, I spaced out while listening to NPR and found myself wondering what else could possibly go wrong before we flip our calendars on Saturday morning.

Then I got to work and, before I even set down my purse, a contractor told me that my office (which currently has no heat) would probably have a pipe burst (due to the lack of heat). So I should prepare myself. (Which I did. By taking my diplomas off of the wall.)

And while I was preparing myself (by taking my diplomas off of the wall), I turned on my space heater -- which isn't nearly strong enough to cut the cold -- and blew a fuse.

A fuse that is located in a fuse box that isn't in my portion of our municipal facility.

The maintenance crew had already gone home for the day.

And so now I have an office that is 46°, without electricity and may soon include a special water feature.

January: you can let yourself out.      

Monday, January 27, 2014


I never turn off my phone. My battery is never dead. I only turn it to silent when I'm at work. I am always available.

It's annoying.

I am not that important. I am not that interesting. There is not one person on this planet who truly needs or depends on me in such a way that I cannot be unavailable for a reasonable stretch of time. I do not need to have access to my email every second, every day. My livelihood does not depend on my Twitter feed. I could stand to miss a few pictures posted to Facebook featuring the really cute daughter of some random kid who rode my bus in elementary school.

It was so simple to have my phone at my side all of the time that my phone was by my side all of the time. Minus when I was in the shower and that's pretty much it.

(Maybe that's why I've been taking so many showers lately!) 

Yesterday, I turned off my phone and I dumped it in the bottom of my purse and then I put it in the other room and I picked up a book and I commanded myself to read, uninterrupted, for a few hours and I didn't have to listen for a ringtone it was brilliant.

When I went to the gym later that night, I left my phone in my locker. It meant that I was subjecting myself to the gym's soundtrack of outdated music that is absolutely brutal and torture in and of itself but at least I didn't feel obligated to answer text messages while trying not to fly off of the back of my treadmill.

I did the same thing today. In the middle of the workday. I was unavailable to my employees for a whole 45 minutes while I threw down a quick run at lunch and here's the crazy thing: we all lived.

And I felt like I could breathe.

And it was pretty damn nice.  

Sunday, January 26, 2014

On what's good for me

There was a time, a few years ago, when I had to stop listening to the Cosmo channel on my satellite radio because it was making me insane.

Cosmo Radio, which doesn't even exist anymore, was basically Cosmopolitan magazine in radio format. I don't read Cosmo. I don't read any women's magazines. And, as it turns out, I shouldn't listen to any radio stations sponsored by women's magazines because I can't handle it.   

As you would assume, most topics were rooted in sex or relationships or sex and relationships. I listened for a few months and, I am completely serious when I tell you that listening made me insane. Not because the station annoyed me so much as it actually made me a crazy person. Paranoid and jaded and always second-guessing my own instincts.

I had to stop listening.

When I did, my life became much more pleasant. I prefer myself when I am not acting like a crazy girl.

I've never been one for dating and relationship books. Maybe you can tell from my general cluelessness and my asinine behavior when it comes to the opposite sex. I understand the general concept of The Rules and He's Just Not That Into You and whatever the kids are following these days: I've just never read any of the books. I've never subscribed to any of those methods. I've never committed. I've never bought in. Maybe it's a flaw in my character. Maybe that's the reason I'll be single forever. 

But it's impossible to escape all of the advice that's out there. There are so many damn experts saying how I should act or when I should text or why what I'm doing is wrong. It's especially bad at this time of the year: January, when all of the self-help books are published and all of the self-help authors are promoting their product. 

The experts are everywhere and I listen because -- why do I listen? Because I'm the target audience? Because hope is eternal? 

Whatever the reason, I listen and all of the advice echoes around in my head and it makes me just as crazy as Cosmo Radio. 

It doesn't make me happy. It doesn't serve me well. I know this. And I am going to be better at avoiding it. 

Maybe following my own instincts will never get me anywhere but at least it doesn't make me feel inadequate and foolish and overwhelmed. At least following my own instincts lets me be me and not a facsimile of every other single female who snatched up a copy of the latest high print-run title. 

Doing things my way may not do me any favors. But I have to believe that I gain a bit back by eliminating something from my life that doesn't serve me well. 

I'd rather go with my gut, call at the wrong time and scare a guy away than memorize and follow an intricate early relationship communications flow chart.

I'd rather just be me.      

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Lonely at the Top

I'm lonely.

I didn't realize that was part of being the boss. I should have. I would have been better prepared if I had realized that I wouldn't have an equal or someone to confide in or somebody to share the blame.

It's very lonely.

And exhausting. Every problem snowballs and, eventually, when the snowballs get big enough they come to rest right in front of my office door. Every snowball is mine to melt. Every problem is my problem.

There are bad weeks -- or stretches of two bad weeks, as I'm living through right now -- where a girl just needs to vent to someone who understands.

There are times when a girl just wants to be shown how to do something instead of figuring out the whole damn thing herself (and taking twice as long in the process).

There are days when a girl wants to be able to turn around and wordlessly communicate "WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?" with just the loon in my eye without having to worry that, by doing so, she may have set the gossip train in motion and there's a good chance by the end of the day every other staff member will be whispering about who I plan to fire.

This job is very lonely. I am very alone.

I am enjoying the challenge and I feel that I am making a very positive difference and it seems like I will never run out of projects to tackle or areas to improve and, in a lot of ways, I feel like I am in the right place -- that this is the job that pieces together all of the areas where I excelled at my past jobs and is really going to let me shine.

It's the right place for me, for now.

But damn it's lonely.  

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

2013 in books

2013 was not my most prolific year as a reader. I read 25 books; in 2012, I finished off 37 books. My new job played a big role in the drop off last year. There is a very large hole in July and August where I was too busy being overwhelmed by my job (and distracted by a certain guy who was leaving, again) to get much reading done.

I could babble on about books for days, but I won't subject you to that. Here is my 2013 reading list, presented in the order that I read the books:

Once Upon a Time, There Was You by Elizabeth Berg
Beauty by Lauren Conrad
Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed
The Weird Sisters by Eleanor Brown
Making Babies: Stumbling Into Motherhood by Anne Enright
Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk by Ben Fountain
The Submission by Amy Waldman
The House at Sugar Beach: In Search of a Lost African Childhood by Helene Cooper
Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed
Crossing the Borders of Time: A True Story of War, Exile, and Love Reclaimed by Leslie Maitland
Missed Connections: Love, Lost & Found by Sophie Blackall
Carry the One by Carol Anshaw
Tapestry of Fortunes: A Novel by Elizabeth Berg
This Is How You Lose Her by Junot Diaz
A Hundred Summers by Beatriz Williams
The World Without You by Joshua Henkin
This Is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper
Sisterland by Curtis Sittenfeld
The Engagements by J. Courtney Sullivan
Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness by Susannah Cahalan
Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
Five Days at Memorial by Sheri Fink
The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer
This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage by Ann Patchett

Favorite: This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage by Ann Patchett and Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed
Made me cry the hardest: The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
Made me think the hardest: Five Days at Memorial by Sheri Fink
Book that I hesitate to admit that I read: Beauty by Lauren Conrad
Book that I'm mostly likely to read again: Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed

While I didn't read as much as I would have liked to in 2013, I like the unintentional balance of what I read. A little fiction. A little nonfiction. Some young adult. A bit of challenging literary fiction. Bestsellers. Random stuff I just plucked off of a shelf because it looked interesting.

If I can't read as much as I want (and I'll never have the time to read everything that I want), at least I can sample a wide variety of what's out there.  

Monday, January 20, 2014

A Birthday Brunch

Yesterday, Lucy held a birthday brunch for Baby A.

I arrived a little bit early because I made French toast casserole and cinnamon rolls for the party.

I set my gift for Baby A (yes, I already gave him a rolling pin set. No, I have no self-control.) on the floor and proceeded to the kitchen to take care of the food and, while I was stacking up sweets, I heard the tearing of paper.

The birthday boy helped himself to his present -- can you blame him? -- and we got to play with his new pots and pans for a bit until everyone else came over.

No luck getting him into the chef's hat, however.

A is really into the construction scene these days. On Friday night, Lucy and I frosted theme-appropriate cookies. Black frosting is a dangerous mess. But I love how they turned out.

My parents and my grandparents came to the party. They get to hear about the boys a lot more than they get to see them; it was a treat for them to be able to spend some time with the little men.

It was a fun morning. And completely devoid of commentary about my lack of children!

Maybe because I had been out the night before and was feeling and looking particularly...exhausted and unfit for parenting. 

Seriously though: rough.

Thank heavens for the distracting powers of a cute baby face.

(Baby L is so tiny at 6 months compared to his chunker of a big brother!) 

Sunday, January 19, 2014

So old

Last night, I went to a friend's baby shower. At the mom-to-he's request, we went dancing after we did the cake and the cooing over tiny socks. I maybe danced for an hour.

This morning, Lucy hosted brunch for Baby A's birthday. Her younger guy, Baby L, was being a cuddle bug and I held him for a good hour towards the end of the party when he got sleepy.

Between the baby shower, the bar and the birthday brunch, I had three drinks.

My legs are burning.

My shoulders ache.

My head is pounding.

And I am old.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Jaw clenching with a side of calmness

What a damn week. The first week in several where I've worked more than three or four days: the amount that I worked was traumatic in itself. Plus what I was working on: high stress. Plus what my employees were trying to do: kill me with their bad behavior. Plus, oh, everything. It was one of those weeks. Everything.

The first part of the week was bad: stress, drama, too much coffee and not enough time to paint my nails. I got through it. Mainly by clenching my jaw. This is a new thing, the jaw clenching.

Probably not the best new coping mechanism.

I tried to be positive. I tried to be grateful. But I was pretty miserable except for this unusual underlying calmness that it would all, eventually, work out. Generally, I can't see the sunshine when I'm in the gutter. This week, I knew that I was trudging through mud and I knew that it would dry out.

It did.

Thursday afternoon brought gifts. Friday did, too. And maybe even today, though I don't want to put too much stock into the events of today that have given me hope and a lot to dream about.

My jaw is still sore.

But, other than that, I feel great.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

That Girl

I never fancied myself the envious, bitter, single girl but maybe I've been fooling myself.

My cousin Anna got engaged at Christmastime and I have been nothing but bitchy about the whole process. I swear that I'm just mostly grossed out by her behavior but I am secretly afraid that I am subconsciously raging because this isn't my wedding and I don't have a diamond or a reason to expect that my neighbor will buy me a Kitchen Aid mixer. Not cool.

Anna is just one of those girls who has placed getting married (to anyone, I'm not sure that the groom is anything but a detail, though the one she snagged is quite lovely) above all achievements and accomplishments. It's basically been her number one goal for years now and whenever I see a girl like that, family member or not, it makes me a little nauseated.

She was pretty obnoxious waiting out the proposal. Even after they set a date and booked a venue. And she bought a dress. Like, this is probably happening so maybe settle down a little bit? Maybe I'm just no fun and don't appreciate a good opportunity to stress about an imminent milestone event. Like I said, I'm being a little bitchy about all of this.

But what's bothering me the most is how much she's using our aunt for this wedding. Yes, our Aunt Louise wants to help and she loves to plan a good party and, yes, Aunt Louise has offered to pay for this and that. Anna has had nothing to do with Aunt Louise for years and I'm just finding it hard to ignore that they're the best of friends now that it is getting Anna the wedding she wants. It's between them, certainly. I just think it's gross.

I'm disgusted with myself for not being more enchanted and overjoyed by Anna's forthcoming nuptials. It's not my finest moment. I should be more excited. I never really pegged myself as the jealous singleton. Perhaps I've just been fooling myself.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Looking ahead

Sometimes, it just helps to have a nice list on hand of all of the things you have to look forward to in the next few months. Even if the list really just emphasizes how truly simple you are.
  • A trip to Chicago to see my cousin Mara's newborn.
  • Submitting the report to the state that has been vexing me for months.  
  • Books. (Maybe, if I'm lucky, one that completely changes my life.) 
  • Starting my newly-appointed position on my soccer league's executive board and telling the existing board (gently) that they make incredibly horrible decisions.  
  • A springtime half-marathon, if I'm feeling really brave. 
  • Valentine's Day: mostly the candy but also having a night to babysit Lucy's babies. 
  • Finally seeing Catching Fire.
  • Upping the blonde content in my hair at my next appointment.
  • A soccer friend's baby shower that, uniquely, includes going dancing.  
  • Finalizing all sorts of details for this summer's trip to Brazil. 
  • The return of Roll Up The Rim To Win at Tim Horton's. 
  • Any and all reasons to be away for work for a day, even if the reason is just as boring as a regular day of work. 
  • Watching season 3 of Girls on HBO.
  • Projects with Lucy (we always have a few up our sleeves), which include:
    • Decorating cookies for Baby A's second birthday party.
    • A possible return trip to the Kentucky Derby (we booked a hotel room but didn't buy tickets) or maybe the Belmont Stakes.
    • Learning how to make legit delicious macarons that also aren't hideous.
    • Perfecting the fine art of phở. (I have a hunch that this recipe from Smitten Kitchen is going to lead us to the promised land). 
    • Watching Homeland, seasons 1-3.
  • Getting my procrastinatin' ass pre-approved for a mortgage and starting on some proper house hunting.
  • Wrapping up another hockey season. 
  • Continuing to decorate my office. 
  • Simplifying. 
What's getting you through until spring? 

And who has recommendations for a book that will change my life? 

Friday, January 10, 2014

Another Friday mirror selfie

Maybe this is becoming a trend. A thing.

(As far as this blog goes, I'm not very good at keeping up with things.)

I just wanted to show you guys my scarf.

No, really: get a good look at it.

Library books!

A Christmas present from my mother. She's so good.

Thursday, January 09, 2014

Good luck charm

When I started my job last July, Lucy bought me what she called "possibly the most random gift" she's ever given me: a marimo.

Basically, a marimo is a ball of algae that you keep as a pet. Marimo are native to lakes in Japan and Iceland and probably some other places (I am not an expert) and, in the Japanese culture, it is a gift to bring good luck and love to someone close to you. As a bonus, taking good care of your marimo will make your wishes comes true.

My marimo has been living happily on my desk since July, surviving a close call when I tipped over its home and dumped water all over a ton of paperwork. A few weeks later, my grandma picked up my marimo's home and, thinking that it was a snow globe of sorts, shook it and shot a geyser of water and pebbles all over my office.

My marimo is very resilliant. My marimo proves this to me over and over.

First thing one recent morning, before anyone else had showed up to work, I was changing my marimo's water. I tipped it to the side, let the water run out and then I held it up to the light before I filled it back with water and MY MARIMO WAS NOT THERE.

I dumped my ball of good luck algae down the sink.

I threw the baby out with the bathwater. 

In a complete panic, I stood in the office kitchen trying to figure out what horrible, horrible fate awaited me as a result of flushing my good luck down the drain.

And how I would explain the loss to Lucy.

In my panic, I took off my bracelet and I rolled up my sleeve and plunged my hand down the drain. Of the office kitchen sink. Is there anything grosser than a shared office kitchen? When you're elbow-deep in it and digging for a tiny ball of algae among all of the other slippery, squishy questionable artifacts chilling down the drain?

No. No there is not.

And I got my hand in that damn sink and I had absolutely no luck.

Which obviously meant bad luck. For probably ever.  Which is something that I try to avoid.

I fished around in the drain and I swore and I laughed at my misfortune. I gave up after a few minutes and I was ready to break out the hand soap and accept my marimo's burial at sea but something -- the power of the marimo? -- made me stick my hand back down the drain.

And then there he was, pinched between my fingers: my little ball of good luck algae. Back from the brink of death.

I'm not sure what this means for my good luck and love but I'm glad I don't have to explain my marimo's untimely death to Lucy the next time she visits me at work.

Wednesday, January 08, 2014

Routine, please!

It's been a wild week of weather, right? (If you're someplace where you haven't experienced this crazy bout of winter weather, please tell the sun I said hello.)

I like snow and I don't much mind winter but the weather since the beginning of the year has been positively insane. Crazy snowfall and record-breaking low temperatures; I closed my building and kept my staff at home on Monday. We all returned to work yesterday. It was a very slow day. Anyone who had any common sense stayed at home.

Normally I wouldn't much mind the disruption to my routine. The day off of work meant a day in front of the fireplace, book in one hand and coffee in the other. Then hockey was cancelled yesterday: an unplanned night to catch up with things at home!

As much as I like hanging out on the couch in my yoga pants, I've had enough of it to last me a while. It's been three weeks of disruption (most of it good disruption, don't get me wrong) and I am ready to get back to real life. A few days off for Christmas. A few days off for New Year's. And now a few days off to hunker down and wait for this winter storm to pass has totally disrupted my life. I can't get my grocery shopping quite right. The small mountain of laundry living in my hamper is a sorry situation. I haven't been to the gym since before The Coach came home, you guys.

It's time to get this train back on the tracks.

I really depend on routine at this time of the year -- the second half of The Coach's season makes me impatient for him to come home, the worst weather drives me a little stir crazy -- it all just feels like there's a lot of time stretching out in front of me.

It always goes by a lot faster than I expect it to when I'm looking ahead in January.

But here I am, looking ahead in January, and I would just like to get moving. Forward.

Tuesday, January 07, 2014

2014: less resolution, more intention

While I was blissfully unaware when I was in the midst of it, reviewing my last year of blogging makes it pretty apparent: I spent the year in a strop.

I don't feel like I'm really like that. I'm not that negative, irritated person. And I don't want to be that person in the new year.

While I've been the queen of lengthy and ambitious lists of resolutions in past years, I am going to forgo the traditional resolutions and set a theme for this year, instead. Because, yeah, I would benefit from drinking more water and learning how to knit mittens. But I think that I'll benefit more from looking at my life a little bit closer and determining how I can infuse it with more of the good stuff.

In 2014, that will be gratitude.
My life is absolutely wonderful and it's time to cut back on the whining and acknowledge that. I am pretty awesome at the fine art of complaining and it's long overdue that I spend time getting even more awesome at gratitude. 
Like, maybe 365 days or so. 
Just don't expect this to turn into a sap factory, okay? 

Monday, January 06, 2014

Terrific Two

Today is Baby A's birthday and I simply cannot believe that it's been two years since that I fell in love with that wild-haired, dough rolling, stinker of a sidekick. I am so lucky to have spent so much time with him over the last two years: a couple of vacations, countless meals, more cups of coffee than I would ever admit to consuming, book after book and toy after toy.

While I know that he won't always crawl all over me when I show up at his house, that he won't always grab my hand and pull me over to play before I've even had a chance to take off my shoes, I hope that I will always be a special person in his life. I hope that he grows up knowing that he can always grab my hand if he needs one to hold.

* * *

I spent my Friday with Lucy's boys. Daycare was closed. She was working, I was not. It only made sense. She thanked me a thousand times over. I am beginning to believe it will be impossible to make her understand that it's as fun for me to babysit them as it is a convenience for her.

While it was a few days short of his birthday, I brought along part of Baby A's birthday present. He had so loved making donuts last month that I got him his own supplies: a case of Play-Doh and a Melissa and Doug set with rolling pins and stampers and the like.

He was very pleased with the gift selection and we sat at the kitchen table to "roll! roll! roll!" for, like, an entire day in toddler time. Which I think translates to something around 45 minutes in adult time.

My mom came by to help for a few hours. Okay, she came for the baby snuggles but I can't blame her. She showed up just as Baby A dumped a vial of glitter onto a chair; I was grateful to hand over Baby L and take care of the mess.

Seeing how much my mom loved being around Lucy's babies -- and hearing about it after -- just about broke my heart. She is kind enough to not be one of those "give me grandbabies!" moms but it is impossible to be around her and those little nuggets and not realize what a awesome, supportive grandmother she would be. Baby L is not a great sleeper and she had him napping in his crib in approximately three minutes flat and here I am, spending my weekends painting my nails and watching Gossip Girl and otherwise wasting her baby whispering powers.

Sunday, January 05, 2014

Hold up.

Wait, wait, wait.

I just got home from dinner at Lucy and Chet's house, checked my email and: hold up, you guys. Let me clarify and let me apologize for misleading you. I failed to think this one through.

I didn't give you the context.

It's way less exciting in context.

The text in question was merely in response to a favor that I did for The Coach.

Not a grand declaration.

(If there was a grand declaration, would there be anything to dissect?)

I'm sorry for the confusion.

When I do really have big news, I promise I won't bury the lede.

Saturday, January 04, 2014

Year of the Crab

I appreciate that you're all so kind or so polite as to not come right out and tell me that I am being a whiny bitch but: why didn't any of you guys point out how rotten and crabby I was in 2013?

Because I was so whiny and so crabby that you stopped reading altogether? Can't blame you if you did! 

This morning, I skimmed through my blog posts from the last year. I was honestly a little surprised by my tone. I would have claimed that 2013 was a pretty decent year but I certainly didn't blog like a person who was having a good year. I blogged like someone who was in a perpetual bad mood.
Maybe I was.

Maybe I was just doing a better job of acknowledging when I wasn't happy -- it's more my nature to pretend like everything is more okay than it actually is -- but I think that I went a little overboard.
It wasn't that bad.

And I'm a little bummed that I wrote as though it was.

We still had our fun moments, didn't we? Picking out my Kentucky Derby dress. Quality comment-section banter. Gossiping about Meg and various guys. Bitching about Facebook.

I am always partial to our dissection of text messages. Just because it's so minor but can be blown up to feel so major and it's precisely the activity that you would do over coffee with your girlfriends and that's exactly what this blog fees like: hanging out with friends.

Speaking of text messages to dissect:

Have at that one, friends.

While you're busy with that, I'll get busy with readjusting my attitude.

Because 2013 was not as awful as I made it out to be.

And 2014 is going to be a lot better.

Thursday, January 02, 2014

So, about those resolutions


In preparation of being the last active blogger alive to write a review of her 2013 (it appears that everyone else is much more on the ball than I am), I had just started to go through my posts from the last year when I stumbled upon my 2013 resolutions.

Let me reiterate: oops.

1. Drink more water: This has been a resolution of mine for the last three years and basically the only time I'm drinking the proper amount of water is during summer season soccer (because it is hot and I don't want to end up dead) and in the week leading up to the half-marathon I run every October (because it's long and I don't want to end up dead). Grade: D-.

2. Say the f-word less: I suppose I'm a little better on account of being SuperAuntie to Baby A (who has really only gotten chatty in the last few months) and my new role as BigMeanBoss but I find myself swearing far too often in most other situations. I am really good at it and that's really bad. Grade: D. 

3. Make 12 recipes from 12 different cookbooks: Yeah, no. I topped out at four. Maybe five. In addition to not reaching this goal, I was too lazy to keep track. Nice. I did a fair amount of cooking in 2013, but my cooking-related resolutions from previous years gave me a really decent arsenal of recipes to rely on. There were a lot more old favorites coming out of my kitchen than there were newcomers. Grade: C-.   

4. Read at least two classics: Oh, sure, everyone has a different definition of what constitutes a classic but the truth of the matter is that exactly zero books I read this year meet the criteria of I would consider a classic. Grade: F.   

5. Take a vitamin: I made a resolution to be a real grownup who takes a daily vitamin and, upon announcing it to my mother, she informed me that research is showing that you don’t need to take a daily vitamin. So I dropped it. BUT THEN I TOOK A VITAMIN EVERY DAY. Lucy bought enough vitamins to supplement the diet of an entire football team, gave half of them to me and here I am: a real grownup who takes vitamins. That she may or may not actually benefit from. But who cares about that? I TOOK THEM. And it was the only resolution (which I technically cancelled) that I really achieved. Grade: A.     

How did you guys do with your 2013 resolutions? Are you bothering with 2014 resolutions? I'm on the fence as to whether it's even worth it for anything beyond a good reason to laugh at myself come next January. 

Wednesday, January 01, 2014

More of this, please

2014, day 1: a happy heart, a good book, more smiles than I knew where to direct them, a wealth of carbohydrates, a little bit of productivity and a lot of love. 

Think I can keep this streak alive for, say, the next 365 days? 
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