I do not excel at keeping a reasonable, manageable schedule.
I like to be busy but I don't like to be exhausted. It's a delicate balance. I'm a little better than I used to be, I think, at recognizing when too much is too much.
Maybe I'm just getting crabby in my old age (I turn 31 next week!), maybe it's just harder for me to go-go-go-go-go-go like I used to, maybe I just value my time a little bit more, maybe I know that this new job has demands that my old job didn't, maybe I'm just trying to treat myself a little better. I'm not exactly sure of the reason, but things that used to appeal to me feel like too great of a commitment. I am more aware that I can't be everywhere and everything to everyone all at once.
Recently, I crossed paths with a very tempting volunteer opportunity. Basically, I would be teaching skating. Which I used to do. Which I miss.
I am wrestling with that decision. I want to do it. I want to commit. I also want five seconds to myself every once and a while and that's been really, really hard to come by.
I don't think that I will regret it. If it's anything like my last job coaching skating, I will get more out of it than the kids did. (And back then I was getting paid!) But I am having such a difficult time pulling the trigger on committing.
I just want more time!
And more sleep.