Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Not just any guy

I hinted at it last week -- and I promise to tell you the full story because it's cute -- but at the soccer game last week, Meg met a boy.

She met him but sort of already knew him and, yeah, that part is confusing. Sorry. Like I said, I'll tell the full story another time. The gist of it is this: Meg met a guy and they were instantly sending text messages every .3 seconds and there were all of these crazy coincidences and I wasn't even upset when she dragged me to the bar even though I wanted to go to sleep because he seemed like a nice kid and they were going to have such a cute story and a brood of tough little babies.

But then it all fell through.

(That's why I haven't told the story.)

I was so upset! He had so much promise! But there was a big red flag and Meg said "nope, bye" and I was proud that she did that.

Because, if I were the one in her star spangled jeggings, I think I would have hung around anyway. Stayed when I knew that I shouldn't. All of the signs could have been pointing at no and I wouldn't have let him go.

I admire Meg for making that decision. For knowing when to bow out. For preserving her dignity and doing it gracefully. I think that we haven't seen the last of this guy and, if that's the case, it's because she showed that she had some damn standards and some self respect.

I wouldn't have done that. At her age, I would have settled for any guy. Any guy who wanted to pay attention to me, regardless of his situation or how he treated me or if I even really liked him.

Wasn't that who Colin was? I looked past his education and his ambitions and his career and his lies and his drinking and his inability to give a damn about me. Because he would pay attention to me. (On his own terms.)

It's scary to think that I could find myself in that situation again. So willing to settle for the first thing that comes around that just about any guy would do.

I would like to think that I've grown up. That I have the self respect to handle myself like Meg did.

But I'm not entirely convinced that I do or that I would.

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