Thursday, August 01, 2013

What's Different

I feel like I owe you guys a neat little wrap up of what's gone on between me and The Coach.

He asked me if he was marriage material earlier this summer. We all enjoyed decoding that random and loaded question.

Then he asked me if I was okay with where we were at.

I botched the conversation and spent the next few days alternating between kicking myself and crying.

The following weekend, I made my best attempt at explaining, no, I wasn't okay with where we were but that the place where I wanted for us to be was one small and reasonable step forward.

And he was cool with that.

He met my cousin/roommate, Liz, that day instead of me hiding him away like he was some sort of a dirty secret. Maybe they exchanged two dozen words. It was not monumental. What was monumental -- what was different -- is when I saw her later that day and I felt like I could bring him up in conversation. Like I could say his name and not feel weird about it.

"He is so cute!" Liz exclaimed when I mentioned him. "Why doesn't he move back to Michigan and marry you? Why doesn't he move back to Michigan and marry me?!"

Later that day, I told Meg a coaching-related story that he had told me. It was a story that I knew she would like but before I never would have mentioned it because I didn't want to -- I didn't know how to -- explain that, yes, The Coach was still in my life all of these years after we worked for the same company. (Meg and The Coach have met each other on various occasions due to the business of my former employer.)

I haven't come completely clean, but I don't know that I will.

But I feel like I can going forward. That's different. And good.

And, of course, he moved 2,000+ miles away since we had our little talk. That's different. Different in the sense that, 10 days ago, we were separated by 20 miles.

But I always knew that this part, the distance, was coming.

I always knew that it was part of the story.

This part isn't all that different at all.  


Flmgodog said...

Ok gotta be honest here...I have been reading your blog FOREVER!! I just want the coach to come back to Michigan, have the fairy tale and move forward. This whole going away business is driving me nuts (uh you too I gather).
Thanks for tying up the recent happenings in a neat little bow though. I know it is not all him. He doesn't have much longer in his current coaching position but I just want to shake him and be like please, please, please come back to Michigan for good.

A said...

First of all: thank you for reading forever! ...I seriously have been blogging forever so it's fun when people have been reading for a long time, too.

Yes, we are pretty much on the same page re: The Coach. But, at the same time, I think it is important for him to want to be back here (whether or not I'm in the equation) because he wants and is ready to be back here.

Only time will tell if that's at the end of his current coaching job or in two years or never!

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