Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Things that sting

I stopped by Lucy and Chet's house for an hour or so last night. The foreign exchange students left today; I wanted to say goodbye.

I was standing with Lucy in the kitchen and my phone was in my hand and I wasn't even thinking as I checked Facebook. It's muscle memory at this point. Seriously gross muscle memory that makes me want to chop off my own hand.

Anyway. This is, like, the third or fourth time I've written about Facebook in the last couple of months so this technology is clearly a problem for me.

And now that we have established that checking Facebook is as automatic for me as taking a breath, I can tell you about what I found out on Facebook.

That Colleen is pregnant.

My ex-friend Colleen.

It been a year and a half since it all went down and I'm still sad that I had to end our friendship. She was a really close friend for a long time. She was a bad friend and cutting her out of my life was for the best but, much like when I saw her wedding pictures, finding out she is pregnant stings. Because it's a big life event. I can picture how different it would have been if she could have held up her end of our friendship. I would have been so excited. I would be planning a baby shower.

I still miss her.

I intentionally remained friends with her mom on Facebook so that I would find out all of the good gossip like when Colleen got pregnant. Healthy, right? I wish that I hadn't.

Seeing Lucy's face when I thrust my phone in her face so she could read the news? Realizing that it hurt her, too? I wish we didn't know.

And speaking of things on Facebook that I wish I hadn't seen: The Coach changed his profile picture this morning and a random girl commented "yum" and I am feeling just a little murderous.

I really should quit Facebook.    


Unknown said...

yum?? oh hell no.

A said...

Right? I know it's nothing and she is nobody but STILL.

It's not even that great of a picture.

Readyandfading said...

My best friend told me something in the past that really resonated with me when it comes to Facebook...."when Facebook starts making you feel bad about yourself instead of good, it is time for a little break." I have been off of it for nearly 2 years and it is the best thing I ever did for myself. I feel so much more at peace without it. Like you, I had some serious friendships that ended in the last few years and seeing their life statuses hurts me. I would rather learn about these former friends organically through other friends in real life than on FB, but that is just me. I know the feeling you shared in this post, I have felt it and you did a great job capturing it with your words.

Anonymous said...

I so get you on the Colleen thing -I have a couple of friends I have had to just stop being friends with because it was so one-sided. I would feel murderous, too. Although, I'd probably be tempted to comment below like "He is yummy, thanks!"

Accidentally Me said...

That's sad:-( Even when friendships naturally run their course, it still hurts to think about how nice it once was. You can know that it is for the best, or that you did everything you could to maintain the friendship but still be sad that it didn't turn out differently.

As for girls commenting on pictures of The Coach...you are gonna need to step back from the ledge on that one, dear;-) Remember that no one else really knows anything about your relationship with him.

Heck...I am not even sure that you and he really know about your relationship!!! Take it as an affirmation of your own feelings on his adorableness.

And if you really want to perpetuate an inside joke, you could follow up with "I dunno...you look like you may be putting on some weight". Or a great backhanded compliment like "I really admire guys who know how to deal with thinning hair like that."

kristin said...

i have been in your shoes every which way to sunday with this post. the ex best friend, the finding out an ex friend had a baby, the wanting to murder someone for a comment on my boyfriend's facebook. i'll help you with the body.

A said...

I promise I was never really that close to the edge! But it still made my eyes bulge out of my head for maybe four seconds.

He's ridiculously good looking (I saw the picture the night before and told him as much) and people type dumb things. At least 10 of his buddies jumped all over the comment and made it into a huge joke. I haven't met half of them but I love 'em anyway.

A said...

Kristin! You're such a good friend. I knew I could count on you. You'll be the first to know if it gets to that point.

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