Friday, July 26, 2013

Enforcer

I had a soccer game last night. Which was good. I needed the distraction. I needed the outlet for my energy.

I played a good game.

And also nearly got in a fight.

Yeah, you read that right.

It's been quite the week.

Let me preface this tale by assuring you all that I am not insane. We play in a very competitive league and it gets rough. These things happen and, truly, it happens in the heat of competition and really isn't a big deal even though this story may or may not have you picturing my soccer league as a bunch of grown women running around and throwing punches. 

It went down something like this: I was playing defense. Meg is our team's goalie.  A girl on the other team took a shot and Meg made this spectacular save, all sprawled out on the ground. 

She looked like this.


Meg is on the ground, holding the ball and the girl on the other team continues to kick at it. The rule is that, if the goalie has possession of the ball, you aren't allowed to kick at it. Because it's dangerous. And the referee had verbally declared that the goalie had possession so there was really no question.

And then the girl kicked at Meg/the ball one more time. Which is not cool.

In hockey, they do this thing called "clearing the front of the net" to get the players from the other team out of your goalie's way. It's done for two reasons: to get the dude from the other team out of your goalie's face (so the goalie can see the puck) or to get the dude the hell out of there so he doesn't hurt your goalie. 


I did the soccer equivalent.

I didn't have a hockey stick at my disposal so I pushed her back from Meg. Like, a two-handed shove to her shoulders. Because it is universal sports etiquette to protect your goalie and especially a goalie who is also your sister and in a very vulnerable position. And that's just not cool. She deserved a shove.

Confession: I might have shoved her back more than once.

In the meantime, Meg gets up and the referee gets between me and this girl on the other team to break up our non-fight. At which time the girl on the other team reaches around the referee and takes a swipe at me.

Bad move.

Meg gets protective of me for getting protective of her.

Meg gets her comically long arms on this girl who is all up in my business. "Step. Back." She sounded just like Mom. Scary serious. You don't mess with someone who sounds like that.

The girl on the other team isn't saying anything but she's not backing away. She is just staring at Meg with these wild bulgy eyes and Meg, who is always so quick and clever in these situations, says "are you going to say anything, Crazy Eyes, or are you just going to stand there?"

It was absolutely hilarious. The whole exchange was hilarious. Our teammates couldn't stop talking about how it went down. I am a tough player, but I'm not a dirty player. It was a little unexpected.

They didn't know the week I'd had.

Crazy Eyes was in the wrong, no doubt. The referee didn't say a word to Meg or me. He didn't even tell us to settle down.

After the game Meg asked the referee to confirm that Crazy Eyes indeed had crazy eyes and he agreed. Score one for the sisters.

We're going to be talking about that harmless little scrum for a long, long time. 

2 comments:

my life is brilliant said...

Go, Aly! I get protective of my brother too. I'd have probably done the same thing. :)

So does Meg know about The Coach yet?

Elliott said...

Good for you! As a defenseman who has played some pretty serious hockey over the years, I've been in more than a few scraps in the same situation. And as someone who also plays goalie, I expect my defense to do the same...and I maybe use my blocker to get guys out of the way...maybe...

 
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