Wednesday, July 24, 2013

3/5

I know that this is how this feels.

This is the third time. Fifth if you count Christmas departures.

I know that this is just how this feels.

I know how he acts. In the days before he leaves. How quiet he gets. How distant he acts. How he's frantically busy. How he will never come out and say that he's sad to leave even though it's clear that he is. How he desperately tries to avoid the formal goodbyes. How he wears a brave face and a t-shirt that reminds him of home.

And I fall back on pattern, too. I stare at the clock. I count down days. I blink back tears. I doubt. I worry. I force down breakfast. I skip lunch. I wear a brave face and clothes in his team's colors.

I know that this is how this feels.

I know that it gets better. That I start eating again. That he starts acting like himself.

We've been through this three times. Five if you count Christmas.

It is easier than the first time. It is remarkably easier. I know that this is how this feels.

I know that the days just before he leaves are the toughest.

I know that this is how this feels.

Awful.

3 comments:

Accidentally Me said...

You need to start telling him these things, because he may feel kinda the same way. There is nothing wrong with just saying "I always get kinda sad right before you leave. And I miss having you around when you're gone. And I know you don't like goodbyes, but I want to see you before you leave."

You gotta make sure other people know what you want!

Kari said...

Ditto what AM said.
Does he drive or fly back? Could you hide some fun things for him to find in his car? You seem to do better when you have a project...

Lifting What? said...

You go visit him too, right? Maybe plan the next trip, that always helped me with long distance stuff.

 
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