Thursday, June 13, 2013

The calming scenery is not helping

Thank you for all of the congratulations, friends!

This wasn't how I had imagined spending my week of vacation. I thought there would be more afternoons spent on the lake with a book and a bottle of sunscreen and less anxiety.

All the anxiety. I wasn't anxious about the interview, but I was anxious about the job offer. About what taking this job means. About the change. About the challenge. About all that I will have to do and learn. About all of the responsibility that I will be taking on.

I was also quite focused on the not-so-generous time off included as part of my benefits package. Just something to obsess about, really. I negotiated myself an extra week of vacation. The rest of the offer checked out, so taking care of that one little snag should have chilled me out. It did not.

I thought that officially taking the job -- as I did on Wednesday afternoon -- would alleviate the anxiety but it didn't. I'm still the slightest bit anxious. I can't shake it.

I can feel it in my stomach. I can't really eat. Maybe I'm just confusing my nervous stomach with a bad stomach. I didn't feel great on Monday, before The Great Job Offer of 2013. Maybe I just don't feel good.

Maybe I'll feel better once I put in my notice on Monday.

But what a foolish way to spend a week of vacation. On the lake (when the spotty weather permits it), with a book and a bottle of sunscreen and this nervous anxiety in the pit of my stomach. Watching Baby A with this nervous anxiety in the pit of my stomach. Baking cookies with this nervous anxiety in the pit of my stomach. Visiting the farmer's marker with this nervous anxiety in the pit of my stomach. Spending too long on the treadmill as I attempt to sweat out this nervous anxiety in the pit of my stomach.

And having the worst damn stress dreams. About the new job. About the job I'm about to leave.

I really need to chill out.

8 comments:

Accidentally Me said...

I wouldn't worry too much...you're probably just pregnant.

A said...

Real cute, bratface!

my life is brilliant said...

^^^ AHAHAHA!!!

A said...

Everyone's a comedian!

Kari said...

With twins....

Accidentally Me said...

I wouldn't even joke about that...lol.

A said...

bwahahahaha. You stinkers! Twins are the funniest joke of all! Especially since The Coach has twin siblings! One of whom has her own set of twins! And apparently I have twins on both sides of my family!

I'm going to go take a handful of birth control pills now.

Readyandfading said...

I know how transitions bring the butterflies. Life is all about moving forward and that is scary. What you are feeling is totally natural. I am VERY proud of you and I can relate a lot to all of this as I start my own job search. You are going to do excellent at the new job and you seem very able to rise to the challenge!!!

 
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