Wednesday, May 29, 2013

I Hate Facebook

I just would like to take a moment to announce that I hate Facebook.

Okay, so obviously I'm not the only one who hates Facebook. I am not unique. Who doesn't hate Facebook, actually? Does such a species exist?

I hate Facebook for many reasons.

I hate Facebook because I am never more than an hour or two removed from the shackles of the newsfeed and, Facebook, don't we need a little space?

I hate Facebook because I get the shakes whenever I am more than an hour or two removed from the previously mentioned newsfeed. I am missing so many pictures of babies and rants about traffic!

I hate Facebook because it appeals to all of my lowest personality traits and habits. Stalking and obsessing, clearly. And it's so easy.

I hate Facebook because: unflattering pictures. I am vain.

I hate Facebook because it connects me with people who I no longer want to be connected to (see: Bridezilla, the not-even-my-friend girl whose wedding I was in a few years ago) except that I don't want to be not-connected to them via Facebook. If that makes any sense.

I hate Facebook because it makes it way, way, way too easy to compare my life with everyone else's life.

I hate Facebook because I can't use it like a normal person who updates her status and posts an article or two on occasion and updates their profile picture more than once every two years: I just post pictures and they're really only pictures of fun things (the Derby or cute babies or heavy drinking while baking) (who takes pictures of not fun things?) (I guess a lot of people post pictures of their car after an accident or their shoe after their dog destroyed it.) and so probably people think that my life is way better than it really is, too, and therefore I'm just as misleading as every high school classmate out there.

I hate Facebook because my friend Ashley who used to be a good friend and who moved away and got a boyfriend and doesn't call anymore (which makes me sad) updated her profile picture to one of her and the boyfriend who I hardly know a thing about and it just reminded me that she used to be one of my best friends and she isn't anymore and that made me more sad than it does regularly.

I hate Facebook because I care enough about Facebook and I think enough about Facebook to hate it.

5 comments:

Englandia... said...

I did a Facebook detox for a few weeks this year, 4 weeks or so and wow, amazing how FEW people noticed that I went from posting A LOT to almost nothing. Was sobering. Also told me a lot about who the people are who actually give a shit. Now I check FB every couple of days or so but am not as involved. It really sobered me up a bit.

Also: There are a TON of people, probably 99% who only post the funny awesome stuff on FB. So, you know, I wouldn't worry about that;)

Unknown said...

you should just join/use instagram if you're only posting pics on FB. I say it's like FB but with pics only. Now I only check FB once a day (and this is coming from a serious FB addict). :)

Readyandfading said...

I quit it almost 2 years ago and it was the BEST thing I ever did for myself. My real friends make a real effort and everyone else that didn't want to be a part of my life, fell to the wayside and cleared up any confusion about what they felt for me anyway.....Maybe take a little break. If something isn't fun anymore, then maybe it shouldn't be something you partake in?

Danielle said...

I generally abstain from Facebook, or just check it then close that browser tab. Except its always there for me when I'm really bored at work, so that's why I don't really want to delete it. Oh well.

I would take a week break or maybe only check it one day a week? I like Instagram a lot more, even if FB owns it.

Sabrina said...

You said it so very well about why I hate Facebook but also why I can't just quit it (major major Fear Of Missing Out).

One thing that has made FB more palatable is unsubscribing from people so I can't see them in my newsfeed.

Also, there's a program out there that goes through your newsfeed and replaces pictures of babies with kittens!

 
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