Monday, May 20, 2013


My friend Maria's dad died unexpectedly this morning. Her mother-in-law passed away just a few months ago. I hate that she has had to deal with so much in such a short time. Maria has the biggest heart -- she just loves so much and cares so much and feels so much -- so I cannot even begin to imagine how broken it is today. I am so sad for her.

And, selfishly, I am scared, too.

My dad hasn't quite been the same since his big concussion last October. A couple of weeks ago, my mom finally dragged him back to his neurologist, who ordered a sleep study. There is really no question that my father has sleep apnea (which the sleep study confirmed) and the (unsurprising, when you think about it) research shows that the apnea interferes with the brain's ability to heal. Or something like that.

I am not a medical professional.

Not long after his appointment with a neurologist, he had a physical. His physician found that his heart is in atrial fibrillation, which meant a trip to the cardiologist, which means an appointment to have it shocked back into normal rhythm.

Unsettling, considering that his brother died of a heart attack in his 40s and his mother died of a heart attack in her 60s.

Unsettling, considering my dad thinks it is okay to say things like "it would be okay if I died." (And that my mom thinks that it's okay to tell me that he's said it.)

I was already feeling pretty tender about my dad and his health. The sad news about Maria's dad shook me up more.

Because it was already so easy to imagine that I was the one who got that awful phone call.

Nice that I'm making this all about me, isn't it?


Kari said...

So sorry about your friend's dad. Hopefully your dad will listen to the Drs or maybe his daughter? Is he getting a CPAP machine? If he gets one -- get the travel version so he can take it with him when he travels. It should help with the brain and the heart issues.

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