Tuesday, April 16, 2013

This is about a lot of things, actually.

My heart feels too small for all of these feelings.

It isn't hard to make me cry. A happy cry, a sad cry, a dignified cry, an ugly cry: they all come easily.

The world -- this big, beautiful, complex world -- scares me.

My world -- my limited, humble, simple world -- scares me.

So much promise. So much horror. So much love. So much beauty.

I wish that I could look ahead. I wish that I could see the days to come so that I could watch all of this come together. So I could see the pieces fit together. So I could see how this all works out. So that I could understand. So that it would make sense.

I don't flip ahead in novels and read the ending first.

Today, I wish that I could.


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