Wednesday, April 03, 2013

The Only One Without

It was a typical weeknight at Lucy and Chet’s house. I showed up a few hours after work, having made a quick trip to the gym on my way. We ate our dinner. Lucy put the baby to bed while I did dishes. We took our standard places on the couches and plugged in to the television show du jour: House of Cards.

Between episodes, we dished out Key Lime Pie and gossip. Lucy told me about her day, which included babysitting her nephew for a few hours, followed by a visit by a friend and her young son. Chet referred to the day as “Lucy’s Kindergarten,” with all of the babies she was entertaining.

Continuing on about her day, Lucy pointed out “you were the only lady over here today without an alien and another on the way.” By alien she meant baby. Lucy is weird. “Be careful, it’s catching.”

The statement was meant to be harmless.

But for a stupid, silly, long second my breath caught in my throat.

I am the only one.

I wish that I didn’t care. I wish that I didn’t feel so behind. I wish that I was so content with my life that Lucy’s silly observation didn’t do anything more than make me laugh.

And, to be clear, it did. I laughed.

I laughed at how pathetic I felt, among other things.

2 comments:

Lauren said...

in your own time! Don't let someone else's concept of "the right time" make you feel inadequate. If it's something you want, you'll get there. And by the time you do, think of all the supportive, loving hands you'll have around to help you and give you unsolicited advice! :)

A said...

HA! I do love and appreciate your perspective and remind me of all of this when I'm bitching about the unsolicited advice, okay?

 
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