Thursday, April 25, 2013

The New Girl

I am managing my summer soccer team this year and it's 41 flavors of annoying. Every player has all of this paperwork to fill out, they need to mail me a check, I have to order jerseys, I have to secure a fields, I have to send out 43 emails a day. It's just a pain in the ass.

That being said, I'm happy to do it. I really love summer soccer.

We have a handful of new players this year, which is fairly common. Girls get pregnant or move away or decide to stop playing and we have to replace them. Typically, I replace players with girls who a current teammate recommends because then I know they're probably skilled enough to be on our team (it's a very competitive league) and they're probably a good fit for our team dynamic.

Every once and a while, I'll add a player at the league's request. The league takes the names of girls who are looking for a team and forwards them along. Typically, these players are never as good as they say that they are and more than half of the time they don't pan out but I'll take the risk on an unknown or two.

Yesterday, I sent out an email update to my team.

Within just a few minutes, I get an email back from a teammate saying, "Just do you know so-and-so?"

It was one of our unknowns. I told her as much.

My teammate responds back: "I've played with her. She's a huge bitch."

Apparently, this unknown is cocky and also known for screaming at her teammates.

Not cool.

We're competitive, but we're not evil.

I promise my teammate that I will handle our potential bitch and I will. It's good to have the warning. By the time our season starts in a few weeks, I'll have my lecture down to one assertive sentence that will hopefully shut her up for good. Something along the lines of "hey, we don't talk to our teammates like that." Just in a really stern tone.

And I'll give a fair warning to most of my teammates not to put up with her shit.

I was telling Meg this story last night and I wrap it up with "so, think of some clever ways to tell her to shut the fuck up."

"I have a good one," Meg says. "How about: SHUT THE FUCK UP?"

So, that should work.


Kari said...

Can I hire Meg to come to a few of my work meetings?

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