Friday, February 08, 2013

2012 Resolution Rewind

I've been meaning to write this for, oh, five weeks or so but I have been so rotten lately about blogging. It seems that all I can accomplish are babbling brain dumps. Which is better than nothing (for me, that is, because it means that I'm still writing -- for you all, I'm sure that it's painful) but just barely.

We're well into February, but I don't think it's too late to review my 2012 resolutions.

#1 Be brave. This is it. This is my 2012. 
I was braver in 2012. I'm not sure if my behavior could be labeled as brave. That entanglement with Alexander was brave for me. The boy who I knew I shouldn't get involved with and did it anyway. There was that job I interviewed for and ultimately turned down. That wasn't the easy decision -- turning down the extra money and extra responsibilities that would have been great in the short term and risky in the long term -- but it was the right decision. And that felt brave. Keeping my relationship with The Coach undefined and casual wasn't brave. I should have said something. I should have forced us to figure it out. I didn't, and I suppose that's a big reason that I cannot feel like I was truly brave in 2012.  

#2 Stay in the kitchen. Why not? I like it there.
This was such an easy resolution for me to keep. I baked a lot in 2012. I was really consistent in preparing myself lunches that weren't processed, junky crap that doesn't even taste all that good. I'm still a big fan of cereal for dinner and a grilled cheese sandwich at any and all meals, but I think I have found a good balance and I'm fortunate to enjoy it, too.

#3 Jump back on the water train. If you need me, I’ll be peeing.
Major, major, major fail. I lived on coffee. It was disgusting. Which is why drinking more water is a 2013 resolution.

#4 Be pretty and be okay with it. Pointless guilt need not apply.
I have this weird guilt complex where I feel bad about spending time to get ready the morning because I shouldn't care so much about how I look and I definitely shouldn't spend 20 minutes fixing my hair. This is totally about my mom (a very nononsense woman) and my sister, both who love to give me a hard time about it. Which still pisses me off. When my hairdresser says "Meg hates that you straighten your hair and then put curls in" it DRIVES ME INSANE. It's my hair. I will do what I want with my hair. I will spend the time I want on my hair. It's maddening. Equally maddening is when my mom clucks about using a flat iron on my naturally curly hair or putting on makeup before going over to Grandma's. Leave me alone. It's my choice. So, while I still feel a little guilty about spending an hour in the bathroom in the morning, I haven't let that guilt stop me from doing it. And I'm just way more confident when I have a little blush on. It's totally worth it.   

The following isn’t a list of resolutions. Just ideas.
More live music.
More outdoor runs.
More laughter.
Bigger ambitions.
More hugs.
Less coffee.
More road trips.
Fewer tears.
Get smarter.
Show love.
More green tea.
Eat better.
More fun.
Sleep longer.
Procrastinate less.
Blog better.
More making.
Less buying.
Try harder.
Aim higher.
Love more.
Live happier.
Less coffee and more green tea? Failures. Other than that, I really didn't do all that bad.

2012, you were okay.

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