Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Not my friend

Most of you probably don’t even remember my friend April. We went to high school together. She was in Lucy’s wedding and, during year or so after Lucy’s wedding when all of us bridesmaids hung out together, we were quite close friends.

She completely lost her shit on Lucy’s birthday the following year. And, after we patched things up, she lost her mind again at Thanksgiving and I was completely over it.

She quit our circle of friends, as she has done with so many other groups of friends over the years. That’s the benefit of knowing someone from high school. You see the patterns. I could name a dozen of April’s former friends who she no longer speaks to.

We were just another in a long line of friendships she couldn’t maintain.

Lucy made tiny steps to repair her friendship with April over the next several years because that’s just the kind of person Lucy is. She gradually let April back in and, while they’re not terribly close friends these days, they are friends.

It feels a little weird that Lucy is friends with April again because I can so vividly remember the poor behavior that April exhibited in breaking up our friendships, but that’s Lucy’s choice. I don’t have a problem with it.

Last January, after Baby A was born, April showed up at his brit. When I first saw her walk in – she brought a friend (who Lucy had never met) with because that’s how insecure she is – I wanted to be all Mean Girls but I quickly decided to take the high road. I sat with her at the luncheon that followed. I told her it was nice to see her.

Because it was.

I don’t trust April. I don’t want to be her friend. But I can be in the same place as her. I can talk to her. I don’t care. I don’t mind.

Which is surprising because one of my worst traits is my ability to hold a grudge.

In October, I saw April at Lacey’s wedding/engagement party/hippie lovefest and it was much the same. I felt like it should have been awkward and I should have felt uncomfortable, but it wasn’t. It just was what it was.

She was at Baby A’s birthday party last Saturday and it was much the same.

The highlight may have been my mother’s face when she saw April and her boyfriend (who seems quite nice) sitting on the couch. I somehow failed to mention to my mother that Lucy and April had reconciled.

According to Lucy and Chet, April tries so hard when she’s around me. I have no idea if that’s true or not. I don’t really see it. April just comes across as cordial and friendly. Every time I have seen her, it’s been in a situation where she doesn’t know a ton of people. Of course she talks to me. This is a girl who is so insecure she had to bring a friend to a brit. I mean, really.

(I should mention that she has a falling out with the friend she brought with her to Baby A’s brit. They are no longer friends. Obviously. Girl can't keep friends.)

When Lucy and I were discussing it over coffee today, I told her the truth – which was a little weird because I would normally sugarcoat my opinion in a situation like this. It’s a little delicate. Lucy is friends with her, after all.

But Lucy is also friends with me and the truth isn’t anything I should be ashamed of. I think that it is nice to see April. I do not hate her. I think that she is a fine person. I have absolutely no problem with her.

And I have no desire to be her friend.


Teagan B. Sawyer said...

I think it's kind of funny that they notice how hard she tries around you. Some people are good people and some people try to put a facade. You're the real deal now wonder she does that lol!

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