Friday, January 04, 2013

Houses and homes

Exciting news: Meg bought a house.

A few months ago, she decided that a house was the next item to check off of her list. As Meg does with everything, she jumped in with both feet. That (26 year old) child is a force of nature and when she sets her mind on something, it is full speed ahead. Get out of the way or get run over.

Things usually work out for Meg and this house was no exception. Her realtor had sold an older couple two houses about a year ago, the first house is a beautiful old Victorian that they've spent a year renovating and a second house -- the house that Meg is buying -- which they've lived in while renovating the first house. Her real estate agent knew that they were going to be selling the house sometime soon, asked if he could bring Meg to see it despite it not yet being listed and all of a sudden there was a bid on the house and Meg was well on her way to being a homeowner.

At Christmas, Meg broke out her iPad and showed off pictures of the house. Everyone was excited for her. And rightfully so.

When my mom talked to my grandma the next day, my grandma said to her "oh, I hope you weren't too upset that I wasn't fawning over pictures of Meg's house."

My mom actually hadn't noticed.

"It's very nice," my grandma said, "but I just didn't want Alyson to feel bad. I want Alyson to have a house of her own if she wants it, too."  

I wish my mom hadn't told me about that conversation. Because I have thought about it every day since. And every day since I've come to the conclusion that my grandmother -- and probably everyone else in my family -- realizes that I am an enormous failure in comparison to my sister.

It's not the best feeling in the world.


Susan said...

As the younger sister who is lucky enough to be unconditionally loved by the older sister; and also as the younger sister who outwardly has her shit together (happy in my career, married, house, etc.) I feel safe saying that no one thinks that about you. My sister is constantly down about not quite having it all together, but I don't see it, I just think she is the greatest thing in the world, and everyone else does too. She is just the best, kindest, most genuine person we know and that's all we see/think of when we think of her. Even though people do the same shit with her, like they won't praise my husband too much when she's around lest she feel bad or something silly like that, even though no one actually thinks worse of her for not being in a committed relationship.

My point is, I could very well see (based on this here blog) that your family would see you the same way. You're so far from being a failure in any way as far as I can tell. I'm sure they think that too!

Anonymous said...

Yes, I'm with Susan! My sister makes 6 g's and I'm barely above poverty level but that doesn't make her a better or more successful person - it just means that she has more "stuff" to worry about. Does that make sense?

A said...

Oh, you guys. Such sweet comments. Honestly. Thanks. I don't know why I'm feeling so sensitive about this but I am and it's awfully nice to have someone propping you up when you're feeling down. :)

Teagan B. Sawyer said...

I feel EXACTLY how you do (when I'm compared to my younger -has way more stuff then I do and seemingly "easily"- sibling). It is something that I struggle with continuously. Hugs to you...and hopefully you seem how amazing you are!

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