Thursday, December 13, 2012


I mentioned this yesterday. I'm still thinking about it.

I'm really sick of doing everything.

Example: we went to Chicago in November. I booked the hotel. I figured out where we picked up our race packets. I mapped out how to get to the race start.

Example: we decide to host Mother's Day brunch. I nag my cousins until they commit to what they're bringing. I make sure the house is ready for guests.

Example: we want to change up Christmas. I make a proposal. I contact everyone with my idea. I confirm with everyone that it is a go. And, on Christmas, I will execute the plan.

Example: we like to make my grandma a photo book every year. I send out an email with a theme and beg for photographic contributions. I put the book together. I order the book. I wrap the book. I put everyone's name on it.

It exhausts me. I like planning. I am good at it. But I am much less good at it and I enjoy it a great deal less when I don't get any help. And when it is just assumed that I will take care of it.

Which I will.

But I don't want to. I truly don't want to. Somebody else initiate something for Grandma. Somebody else make an effort.

Nobody is, though. They're all just looking at me. Waiting for me to start. And finish.

Which I do. Resentfully. Because somebody has to. I'm just really tired of that somebody always being me.


Lauren said...

Sounds like it's time to stop. I know it's hard, especially when you see or think people aren't doing anything. Instead, try delegating a task to someone. Tell them what you normally do, and then let them do it and take responsibility. Ask for help, and make sure everyone knows you need the extra hands, and who has taken on the responsibility from you. You can do it!

Accidentally Me said...

I'm with Lauren...just stop and let something be a complete mess. Don't do it with grandmas photo book:-), but pick something else!

Heather said...

this was me, this year. i somehow became the social event coordinator + gift coordinator. delegating didn't work well because i was still expected to manage the projects, so to speak.

so i quit.

this christmas is the first event where i am doing nothing but showing up (and contributing baked goods, but that's a mainstay). refusing to plan anything and answering questions about what to do with questions and stated availability (e.g., i can do dinner, but not lunch.) has had some interesting effects. i don't know that i don't prefer to just be in charge, but you know what? so much less stress.

my suggestion? try delegating. and if that doesn't work, quit.

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