Wednesday, November 21, 2012

You should have Pie Night, too

If you are looking for a new tradition for the holidays, I would like to humbly suggest the addition of Pie Night to your Thanksgiving festivities.

It is my favorite night of the year.

It could be your favorite night of the year, too. It should be your favorite night of the year. That's why I have created you this step-by-step guide to hosting your own Pie Night. Try it in 2013, okay?

First: start with your favorite group of people. Our Pie Night group is all females, mostly family, but Pie Night is not limited to one gender or only to relatives.

Second: invite Pie Night attendees via group email or Facebook event. Make the invite clever, fun and awesome. Include a promise of alcohol. Throw in a few embarrassing pictures. (This step is optional but highly recommended, allowing you to spend several days before Pie Night hyping up Pie Night via the interwebs.) 

Third: craft a menu. You can't have a proper Pie Night without adequate sustenance. In my family, we rely heavily on nachos and margaritas. Some years, we have made an enormous batch of crockpot macaroni and cheese. Pizza would be good. To make a good menu, pick something easy and pick something with melted cheese.

Fourth: have a vague idea of how many pies you're going to make. (If you're insane, follow my mom's formula.)

Fifth: Get the proper ingredients (plus some extra - somebody is going to screw up something) and start soliciting your friends and family for their pie pans. Don't use foil ones. Those are shit. Trust me.

Sixth: Everyone had work or school or something to do during the day. They are all going to show up at least 30 minutes late. Accept this.

Seventh: You're not going to get to making pies until at least a hour into your planned start time. Because you have to stuff your face and get your drink on before you can even think of starting on your pies. Accept this.

Eighth: Play good music. Dancing is non-negotiable on Pie Night.

Ninth: Let the people who are good at making pie crust make the pie crust. Pie crust is hard.

Tenth: Stagger your pie making so that you get the maximum number of pies in the oven at once but don't have raw pies sitting on the counter getting soggy.

Eleventh: Be sure that all Pie Night attendees who won't be joining you on Thanksgiving are sent home with a pie or three to share with their own families. Check in later to assure that, yes, their families were significantly impressed by the quality of their pies.

Twelfth: Try (keyword: try) to get to bed at a reasonable hour. You have a 10k to run early the next morning, remember?

Okay. Maybe not a 10k. You're not that crazy? Fine. But pie making is exhausting enough and you'll totally need the extra energy for digesting on Thanksgiving.

Thirteenth: Chances are, you went overboard on pie creation on Pie Night. Sacrifice one in the name of a taste test. Have a slice of pie for breakfast. It makes for a really good start to a really great holiday.    


MK said...

I love this post. I want a pie night of my very own!!

Accidentally Me said...

I haven't decided yet on the photo that we are using on your eventual Match profile, but it will clearly be one where you are holding a pie.

I am just torn between this one and the one in the bikini...

A said...

MK - Doooooo it!

AM - OMG. I'd completely forgotten about the bikini pie picture. hahaha. Sadly, my Fbook profile picture is also with a pie and now I'm a little scared.

my life is brilliant said...

Oh. My. Goodness.

I want to crash your pie night.

Nachos? Margaritas? AND pie making? I'm pretty sure that's what the Native Americans really had in mind when they invited the pilgrims over for dinner.

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