Saturday, November 24, 2012

Dodging a Bullet

Meg's boyfriend, Drew, was supposed to move back to Michigan by the end of this year.

And then Drew was supposed to move back next spring.

And apparently, sometime this weekend, Drew told Meg that maybe he didn't want to move back after all.

I spent a lot of time looking at Meg and Drew as the couple that The Coach and I could have been. It was impossible not to compare: they got together just as The Coach left last summer. They jumped into a long distance relationship. The Coach and I did not.

It took me a long time to be okay with that. I am, now. I have been, for a while.

What's happening with Meg and Drew makes me think of The Coach and me; it makes me think that maybe it was always better off happening the way that it did. He runs off to chase his dreams. Cutting off ties in the process. No promises. No expectations.

Had we tried for a legitimate relationship, it would all be different now. I would be resentful of a very big, very awesome opportunity that is going to keep him in his job for at least another year. I would be in a constant state of distress. I would, quite frankly, be psychotic. Most likely, the relationship would be over.

I am not strong enough for a long distance relationship. And The Coach never liked me enough, anyway.

Sometimes I wish that it had turned out differently.

Despite knowing -- and I, after hanging on far too long -- that it was for the best.


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