Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Angry mom, angry daughters

I was pissed at my mom all day yesterday. I heard nothing from her between 11:00 pm – when she told me that they were at the hospital – until 3:00 pm when she called to cancel dinner on her way home from work.

My continual ranting rubbed off on Meg, unfortunately, and then there were two angry daughters.

And then the one angry daughter – Meg – went home. Fought with my mother. Left.

Mom was so pissed at Meg that she called me to bitch me out. In essence: how dare you be pissed at me for not giving you updates. I didn’t have any updates, I didn’t have time to give you updates, I am trying to take care of your father and hold down my full-time job.

Basically, she was exhausted (she got three hours of sleep the night before) and probably a little bit scared (my dad started puking, which is definitely not a sign that a concussion is improving) and angry that we were calling her on her shit.

The best part was when she proclaimed that Meg and I were being selfish. For wanting to know how our dad was doing instead of going about our days without giving this accident a second thought. Not so rational.

My end of the conversation went a little like this: “so, are you calling to update me on Dad or are you calling to scream at me? I’m still at work. And if you’re calling just to scream at me, I’ll call you once I leave.”

She hung up on me.

Meg contacted my mom’s BFF so that she could call and talk her down. (I think it helped.)

My grandma called with an update on my dad, which was really just an opportunity for her to say “your mother is worried about your dad, sweetheart, so don’t take anything she says to heart.”

My mom never gets irrational like this. She never acts so insane. Yesterday was truly a monumental day, when I could tell my grandma that my mom is “100%, completely psychotic” (Grandma agreed) and mean it.

She must have been really scared. And really tired.

I talked to Meg after I left work. She thought that one of us should go over to the house – even though she had just recently stormed out of it – and I volunteered. I had grand plans to watch the USA soccer game and the debates and chill. Instead, I stopped at home and packed a bag and drove to Mom and Dad’s.

I made a pit stop at Trader Joe’s for food. Because food cures all.

And when I got home, I immediately started poaching chicken for chicken salad and cooing over my father and trying to keep myself busy enough to make my mom happy. I announced that I would be staying the night – I worked an afternoon shift today, so I would be available in the morning to hang out with my dad the next morning – and that was that.

I packed her up lunch because I’m a sucker like that. I sat and watched baseball with my dad even though I wanted to watch soccer. I made us oatmeal for breakfast this morning and I did a few loads of laundry and straightened up the house and played with the dog. I did exactly what I would have done if she had just asked me to come over and help, instead of expect me to somehow magically know that she needed help with my dad even though she hadn’t bothered to give me an update.

I did get two of my grandma’s apple dumplings out of the deal and I got to see my dad on his birthday, so all was not lost.

And when Dad is past this, I'm going to give Mom a few pointers on how to better handle this kind of situation the next time. Or, better yet, I’ll have Meg do it.


Kari said...

You are a great daughter. Nurse mom's are really scary when they go psycho (I mean get really worried). Been on the receiving end a few times.
Hope your dad's recovery goes well and that your mom returns to her normal self.

Anonymous said...

you are a really good daughter.

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