Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Single/Not, Complete/Incomplete

My cousin Anna was home from NYC this weekend. And she brought along her new boyfriend, Carlos, to meet the extended family and go to a UM football game and experience all of the fun that southeastern Michigan has to offer.

Strangely, Carlos – who is Guatemalan – has already lived in metro Detroit. He was placed at a hospital here when he was in medical school. The hospital where Anna was born. Crazy small world.

Anna started dating Carlos at the very, very end of last year. And it’s serious. Anna is slightly insane. Anna is on the hunt. Anna is ready for a ring. Anna is frothing at the mouth for a ring.

Meg visited Anna last month and all Anna could talk about was getting engaged. Meg’s “um, isn’t that a little bit fast?” was met with “I AM NOT 22 ANYMORE!” Anna is 27. And all she has ever wanted was to be married.

She has this all planned out. She’s going to marry Carlos. And when he is done with residency, they’re moving back to Michigan. (She even brought him to the hospital he worked at during their trip for a bit of networking.) I don’t know if Carlos knows any of this – but that’s definitely Anna’s master plan.

There’s nothing wrong with having a plan, I suppose. It’s a little intense for me but, hey! I’m the most single person in the world. What do I know about these things?

Being single, for Anna, was torture. (You guys might remember that I lived with Anna for a year. She moved to be with her boyfriend who lived in NYC. He dumped her within a few weeks of her move.) When Meg started dating Drew, the first thing she had to say about it was “she better not get married before me.”

What?

Anna is a person who defines herself by her relationship. Or lack thereof. And I am certainly not. To me, it’s a very foreign way of thinking. That you’re not anything unless you’re with someone else. I don’t get it.

Maybe that’s my problem. That I think that it would be nice, certainly, but it isn’t the most important thing.

I am who I am if I’m in a relationship or if I’m not. Maybe that makes me too independent.

But I swear that I’m still a complete person. I’m not walking around with a hole in my heart. I can even sleep at night. Honestly.

1 comments:

Susan said...

I could've sworn I'd posted a comment on this, but I'll try again: I think your attitude here is great and people who can't stand the thought of being with themselves (you know what I mean) will never able to properly be with anyone else.

 
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