Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Winner: Dumbest Male Ever

My friend Aviva was in town for Passover. She just took a new position in Los Angeles. She lives in New York now so, in addition to moving all of her stuff and finding somewhere to live, she needs a car.

My dad works for one of the Big Three (oh, hell, who in Detroit doesn’t?) so I arranged for her to meet with him on Monday afternoon so that she could talk with him, take a few cars out for a drive: all of that fun stuff.

When I left work, I called my parents. I chitchatted with my mom. She passed the phone to my dad, who gave me his thoughts on the NHL playoffs, detailed where he went to lunch and what he had before reporting about his visit with Aviva.

He hangs up with me, turns to my mother and says “you’re not like me and Aly.”

And she says “um, okay?”

Then he says “you don’t like helping people.”


You don’t like helping people. TO MY MOTHER.

My mother who has built an entire career around helping people.

My mother who took her father to a doctor’s appointment on Thursday. Who spent the entire day at the hospital with his sister on Friday. Who baked cinnamon rolls with Emma on Saturday (because Emma wanted to make the cinnamon rolls her mom always made for Easter). Who filled Easter baskets on Sunday morning. Who cooked a meal for 15 on Sunday afternoon.

You don’t like helping people.

When I imagine this all unfolding (my mother, still laughing at his stupidity, told me the whole story last night), I imagine my mother giving him The Stare of Death.
Because he backpedaled.

“Um, you know, about car stuff.”


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