Sunday, March 18, 2012

Dwelling on: work, jobs, careers, etc.

In general, locker room talk is fluffy. Making fun of someone on the other team. Complaining about husbands. Showing off a new pair of shoes.

Sometimes we bitch about work. I like to tell funny stories of creepy men and odd reference requests.

We were sitting in the locker room when one of my teammates mentioned that her boss is looking to hire another person for their department. She had nothing but good things to say about the organization, her position, the benefits. “If you know of anyone who is qualified and looking, please send them my way!”

I asked her to forward me the job posting – that, while I didn’t know anyone who would fit the bill, I would ask my mom and my sister. They might know of someone who is looking.

I saw my mom on Friday morning and, as I was telling her about the job, I realized that it was probably a job that I could do. In a field – healthcare, research – that interests me. For a respectable organization. Using skills that I learned in graduate school. Where I wouldn’t have to work on the weekends in the evenings. And where I would probably make significantly more money. And have a lot more room for growth.

When I blurted it out – “oh, maybe I could do it” – I surprised myself. I didn’t realize that I was looking. I didn’t know that I wanted a change. But maybe I am. And maybe I do.

I like my job. I like where I am; I enjoy what I do. I am so very, very lucky to have this job. This job that 100+ applied for. In a system that is respected and supported by the community. If I want to stay this course – working with the general public – I am in the right place.

Fulfilling or not, enjoyable or not, in my field or study or not – looking at your career trajectory and realizing that you’re never going to make any money totally sucks.

Just considering this other job makes me feel like a failure. Just considering this job makes graduate school feel like a mistake. Just considering this job complicates one of my favorite unhealthy pastimes – passively keeping an eye on jobs that pop up around where The Coach is working. (I KNOW.)

Maybe I dip in my toes. Test the waters. Apply. See what it’s all about. Figure out if it’s really something that I want to do. Finding out about a job doesn’t mean that I will get the job. Getting the job doesn’t mean that I have to take the job.

I have to be honest with you guys – this business of being brave is exhausting.


Heather said...

looking at or considering this shouldn't make you feel like a failure. you're only failing if you're not actively pursuing your happiness. if you get happiness doing what you do now, then don't think about it. if you want more, want better, want to see what would happen - forward your resume. at the end of the day, you're still employed, and the worst they can say is, "no thanks!" and then you know. what's right will happen, in all areas - be it job, home, or romance.

you can't let your pastime of looking for jobs where the coach is coaching stop you. you shouldn't let a premature worry of taking vs not taking this job stop you from applying. don't put a cart in front of a horse. if it's an opportunity you are legitimately interested in finding more about, that you believe in which you could do well, and one that you could be happy in, then submit your resume and see what happens. Maybe nothing. Maybe something. Cross that bridge when you get there.

Kari said...

I say apply for it and then worry about it when the offer you the job. Research is fun...think you would love it.

Accidentally Me said...

Oh, I have so much on this, but no time to write now...if I don't email you later today, remind me tomorrow to do so!

Teagan B. Sawyer said...

Apply please! You never know where it can take you :)

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