Wednesday, January 25, 2012

My words have limitations

It turns out that I’m a pretty decent cheerleader.

I text The Coach on his game days. Good luck tonight, darling! I’ll punch into my iPhone a few hours before game time, when I have a free minute at work or when I’m stopped at a traffic signal or when I happen to be thinking about him (which is frequently). Do a lot of winning! Or Kick so much ass! Or Be awesome! Or It’s a great day for a big win!

I want him to do well. And I want him to know that I want him to do well. Even though his success with his team keeps him a few thousand miles away. I want that success for him. Trophies and championship rings. All of the accolades.

As much as I want him here, I want him happy. He’s happy chasing his dreams. And his dreams – unfortunately – are currently housed with a team that is very far away.

I’ve found myself cheerleading more and more lately. It is nearing the end of the season. His team is waging quite the uphill battle. Each game is critical. There’s a lot of pressure. He’s feeling it.

And I am relentlessly optimistic.

It’s all I can be. I can’t change the results. I can’t be the difference between a win and a loss. This optimism? This cheerleading? It’s all I can do. You’ve got this. I tell him. It’s going to all work out in your favor in the end. You’ve worked hard and you deserve this. Just be your awesome self.

Last week he texted me at the conclusion of his game. He does this often, shooting me a quick update while he's wrapping up his post-game responsibilities. He gave me the score – advantage: bad guys in a close game that his team really needed to win – and then he wrote “I need a hug.”

Oh, if it were only that easy. If only I could give him the hug that he needs. If only I could sit in the stands and wear his team colors and yell for his team and see with my own eyes what instead he has to tell me about.

And so I rely on my words. On every inspirational phrase that has ever made an impact on me. Chin up. Eyes on the prize. Believe. So many words. So many different ways to say the same thing. To say you're great and I want you to excel. I've said it dozens of times, dozens of ways. But I still feel like I'm running out of ways to say it.

Maybe I need a motivational tutor. (Suggestions, anyone?) Or a book on giving motivational speeches.

Or maybe words just aren't enough.


Mrs. Architect said...

I think I can relate to this in a totally different way.

You're WONDERFUL for him, and with things like this, if it doesn't work out in the end between y'all, it won't be because of you. Because you're an AMAZING girlfriend. (or friend thats a girl thats more than a friend...)

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