Happy New Year (in a few days)

I was not thrilled to see 2011 go like I was thrilled to see the end of 2010.

I did not cry tears of relief at midnight. In fact, I missed midnight. But at 12:03 am, we threw up our hands and welcomed in a new year. At 12:05, a text message from The Coach. That wasn't enough but was enough and, oh my, with us it is always that way.

While I am sure that somewhere inside of me I have profound thoughts about the year that I had and big dreams about the year that I will have, it's going to be a couple of days until I can dig them up.

I am living hour by hour for the next few days. I have officially entered a tailspin -- a tailspin remarkably similar to the one I found myself in when The Coach left in August. I can't stop crying. I have been soaked by a typhoon of sadness; it's going to take me some time to dry off.

And then: watch out.

Washed clean and ready for a new year.

A year that will make me cry at midnight. Bittersweet tears. Sad that the best year of my life is coming to a close, happy for all that happened. Happy for all that I made happen.