Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Bigger and better

I have lost a bit of weight recently.

It wasn’t intentional. I’m not exactly sure how much I lost. Maybe around five pounds? I have never really been one to weigh myself.

My pants were all starting to get a little big but I didn’t pay much attention to it. The Coach came home from Christmas and insisted that I was looking exceptionally fit. Which I promised wasn’t true, that I was the same girl he’d left in August.

But then I started thinking about it and, yeah, I guess maybe I did lose some weight. I’m buying dresses in stupidly small sizes. My jeans don’t fit. I exchanged every pair of pants I received for Christmas. I’ve been running a lot. And - when The Coach took his job and moved away - I wasn't doing much eating. I guess it makes a little bit of sense.

“You’re getting very thin,” my mother remarked to me a few weeks ago. We were all in the car – the whole damn family – after a meal out. “You’re going to lose your booty.”

Yes, my mother knows that my ass is my greatest, well, asset.

“We’ll have to suck some fat from Meg’s and inject it in you!”

“Gee, thanks, Mom.” Meg is sitting in the back seat with me and she is looking horrified but also a little amused. She’s shaking her head.

“MOTHER! OH MY GOD! MOM! ENOUGH!” My mom is brilliant and intuitive and our biggest cheerleader. And sometimes she says the wrong thing. Makes that cutting remark that you remember forever. (Maybe 6 or 7 years ago, she told Meg that her hair looked like dog’s hair and we still talk about it.) Maybe it’s just a mother/daughter thing. When Mom says it, you remember it. “MEG IS PERFECT JUST LIKE SHE IS!”

“What? Of course she is. But there’s no denying that Meg has a badonkadonk.”

My mom is awesome. And sometimes she just doesn’t think.

When Meg retold this story at the bachelorette party we were at last weekend, she threw in “and then Alyson – the best big sister ever – defended me.”

It was the least that I could do.

My hockey team played right before her hockey team on Sunday. After my game, I was in the bleachers watching her play. I pointed Meg out to a girl on my team – someone I don’t know particularly well – and she was like “she’s a lot bigger than you, huh?”

And she is. She’s just a bigger person. Not in a bad way. And I guess that, when you’re looking at it from a sports angle – it’s something that you’d make a comment about. But I never like when people point it out.

I have never discussed size with Meg. She’s four years younger than me but she’s been bigger than me – all around, just bigger (taller, broader shoulders, larger feet and, yes, more ass) – since her late elementary school years. And there is nothing wrong with Meg. She’s tall and she’s strong as hell. She’s built like the athlete that she is.

I hope it doesn’t bother her.

I hope it just seems like a given. How things are. Just like how it is a fact that she’s remarkably smarter than me. And a way, way better athlete. And has better hair.


Accidentally Me said...

Make sure you don't get too thin! You looked great in the New Year's dress pictures, but we don't want you wasting away into a little skeleton:-) (Says the girl who has, on occasion, weighed less than 90 pounds...)

Anonymous said...

I love this post. It made me laugh, reminded me of my own mom, and also endeared me a little to you and Meg (if I could be even more so)! I've always wanted a sister -- love the way y'all are.

A said...

Nothing to worry about! The only way I'm weighing in under 90 pounds is if I have a limb amputated.

Mrs. Architect said...

OMG, this could be written about me and my sister. She's kinda bigger than me, but oh so better in every single way!!!

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