Sunday, December 18, 2011

Thinking, Deciding

There are many, many good things that come from maintaining a blog for 7+ years.

The blogging benefit that I practice the most frequently is using my blog as my auxiliary memory. "When did I run that race?" Search the archives. "How long ago did I get in that huge fight with April?" Archives.

But the best thing about having this blog - and having it for so many years - is that I have somehow managed to get a lot of really great, really smart, really sweet, really honest, really genuine, really, really, really awesome people on Team Alyson.

Thank you all for your comments and your good thoughts and your emails and your honest opinions. Thanks for thinking of me. Thanks for caring.

This weekend with The Coach was as bad as it was at the end of last week. I am disoriented and I am frustrated and I am hurt. I have to do something - and that something may be a swift parting of the ways - because I can't keep this up. I cannot continue to feel this way. I'm exhausted. I don't want this hanging over my head at Christmas. I want to enjoy the holiday. I want this to be over. I want it not to hurt. I've made no decisions. I've formulated no plans. I'm tired and sad and maybe a little bit pathetic. I'm undecided on a plan of action and decided that there must be one. I'm sick of crying in my car. I'm done with hanging on to threads.

Something is going to change.

Something is going to change very soon.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

*Hugs*

Crystal

doahleigh said...

Sad face.

I wish you would (or could?) share more details. Your posts are always so cryptic, I feel like I never really knows what's happening. So I never know what to say.

Except sad face.

:(

Kari said...

Boys like the Coach often need things spelled out for them. I think you need to have a good ol' chat with the Coach. I am pretty sure he is not the player that others think he is. He may even be a little gun shy after the whole crazy ex girlfriend thing. He may think that this is what you want , after all he had crazy ex girlfriend who likely told him exactly what she wanted all the time...I wouldn't do it today, the week before Christmas, but I would say have a "Boxing Day" chat with him. If he is still super vague about it..I would say you should likely "breakup" with him. If he really does want this relationship, then he will let you know.

Sending lots of hugs,
K

 
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