Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Darren

My work friend, Darren.

If you've been reading for a couple of years, you probably remember him.

We hung out a lot for a year or so. I had a crush on him. And then I didn't. But we were always friends.

And he got fired. Right around the same time that Ashley and The Coach left their jobs in the same office. But we stayed in touch. For a while. And he moved to another state and our conversations became less and less and less frequent.

I thought about calling him on his birthday this year - it was his 30th - and I didn't.

Ashley called yesterday to give me exceptionally horrible news.

Darren committed suicide.

And I find myself in one of those places when I detest the limitations of the written word because there isn't a word or a phrase in my vocabulary that I can say to sum up how absolutely awful and sad and heartbroken that I feel.

I hate mental illness. I hate what it did to Darren. I hate that Darren's family has lost a son. I hate that I didn't work harder to maintain our friendship. I hate that I never told Darren that I thought that - troubles or not - he was a good person and a good friend. I hate that I didn't pick up the damn phone on his birthday.

I hate that this is real and that I have to write an acknowledgement that it happened.

I hate it.

12 comments:

Accidentally Me said...

Oh my goodness! I was reading an old post of yours from a while back just the other day and was wondering what ever happened to him. That is really, really terrible:-(

Hugs!

Mrs. Architect said...

Wow. I have no words. :(

Kari said...

Sending Hugs...

Kari said...

Sending Hugs...

Thisisme said...

Oh gosh!!! That's awful. I am so sorry!!

Theo said...

I'm sorry about your friend :(

kim said...

Oh my god. That is so sad. I am so sorry. There are no words. But I am thinking of you.

k said...

oh i am so sorry. what a tragedy...

doahleigh said...

So awful. I'm so sorry. I just read the car crash thing, too, which I'm sure is not helping you deal. Best wishes...

Susan said...

Ugh. I am so so so sorry to hear that.

Teagan B. Sawyer said...

I'm so so sorry to hear this. Hugs to you.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear this. Sending good energy your way.

 
Blog Template by Delicious Design Studio