Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Jobs and love

When Lucy called me on my birthday I casually mentioned the birthday wishes sent from Colleen. A generic text message. Exactly what I was expecting and therefore not the slightest bit disappointing.

But it enraged Lucy - who can take all of Colleen's crap but couldn't stand seeing her treat me so poorly - and she promptly called Colleen to chew her out.

Maybe that's where Lucy is a better person than I am. She is brave enough to call and yell and make her voice heard, rather than identify the pattern and announce the relationship irreparably broken and unworthy of any further attempts at mending.

Lucy called Colleen and pointed out how awful she had been. And Colleen heard her, amazingly. Or so it seems. We'll see if she keeps it up.

Lucy saw her over the weekend. For the first time since June.

At some point in their conversation, Colleen said that one of the reasons that she disappeared was because it was hard for her to be around me and Lucy, because we had what she didn't.

I had to have Lucy repeat the story twice. What? What is is that I have? Lucy's life - Lucy's life I can imagine envying, with her adoring husband and her good job and her adorable house and her well-behaved dog and her baby on the way.

But mine? Mine? It's been hours since I spoke with Lucy and I still don't understand it. I have a job. A decent job that I feel lukewarm about. She has someone who loves her. (Yeah, I think he's a loser but I'm not the one one in the relationship with him.)

I have a job. She's in love.

Let's just skip the part where I draw comparisons.


Mrs. Architect said...

Is she in love? Maybe that's why she envious. Because she feels stuck and trapped and she's NOT happy. She sees the potential you have for your life that you dont. Just a classic case of "the grass is always greener".

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