Friday, October 07, 2011

Freak Me Out 101 – an easy A

Were you looking to make me nervous? To be the subject of conversations that start with “hey, if I ever end up dead or missing...”? To be the reason that I want to pound my head against the desk on a regular basis?

Was that an enthusiastic yes? Well, do I have great news for you, creepster. It’s easy!

Be a regular at my job and be a creepy old man and wear a track suit every day and refer to me as your girlfriend (as in, “hey! There’s my girlfriend!”) even though I am not your girlfriend and have refused to give you my phone number (or take yours) each of the three times that you’ve offered it and you will freak me out. Say to me “hey, your birthday is coming up, right?” even though I have never told you when my birthday is and you will freak me out. Notice and comment when my hair is different and you will freak me out. Wave to me in the parking lot, show up every day (occasionally come twice in one afternoon) and ask me when I get off of work for the day. You’ll freak me out. And probably have me convinced that you're going to kill me.

Just don’t actually kill me, please. My to-do list is really long and I just do not have time for such foolishness.


k said...

oh my goodness. please don't die, that would make me sad. i don't like creepy men.

it probably would be good to mention it to a coworker or two as well!

Anonymous said...

Um, you might want to tell the authorities about this. DISLIKE!

Thisisme said...

uh... yea. Please don't die!!

Teagan B. Sawyer said...

How weird?! That is veeeeeeery creepy.

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