Sunday, September 18, 2011

I signed up for Match.*

I signed up for Match weeks and weeks and weeks ago, right after a few very wise pals told me to because I'm always very good at listening to the advice of my friends who always end up being right.**

I signed up because I am supposed to proceed with my life as though The Coach is never coming back which means, I think, that I can get away with sending him some cookies (cookies can be sent to someone who is never coming back, yes?) but also that I have to put myself out there for all of the single men of the world who are looking for slightly crazy, curly haired, bookworm girls with blue eyes and a wicked sweet tooth.**

I wasn’t convinced that I wanted to sign up for Match because, you know, it sort of seems like a lot of work and I was afraid that it would only result in a lot of mildly humiliating blog fodder and no potential Mr. Rights but then I had an epiphany and I said to myself, “Aly, suck it up. Grab the bull by the horns. Nothing good is going to comes to you while you are waiting for it to fall into your damn lap” and so then I whipped out my credit card (even though I wanted to spend my money on other things, such as nail polish and sports bras) and signed right up.***

And then I sat down with my best friend, Lucy, and we wrote a killer profile.**** Now I spend gobs of my free time communicating with eligible young men who I would otherwise not have a chance to meet and it is so, so fun because – among other things – it’s a good excuse to talk about myself. I love talking about myself! (See: having a blog.)*****

I’m still new to the Match thing but I'm pretty sure I love it. ******

**More lies.
****Fabrication. I actually discussed this with Lucy and she gave me a pass.

I know that I’m being a stubborn brat, but what I’m trying to say here is this: maybe it’s what I’m supposed to do, maybe it would be good for me, maybe I’m being stubborn, maybe this is why I deserve to be miserable and alone for the rest of my days – but I’m just not ready yet.


Heather said...

true, embarrassing story: i was suckered in by the eharmony ads and the fact that Evil Bridezilla Now High Strung Wife met Adorable Saintly Husband through eharmony. i lived out my year, and... was not impressed. it's like picking someone out of a catalog. and i, as an avid writer (...of emails only, lately) know all too well how easy it is to write something that is shades of grey of the truth. as someone who goes with her gut and intuition with meeting people, this methodology doesn't cut it for me. but that's ok, i think. i can be a cat lady. i could probably even be a convincing cat lady, if they were all stuffed and didn't claw my furniture (it's vintage goodness!).

you don't have to do anything that's not on your timetable, you know, just because your friends think you should do something. i know you know this. but i thought i'd give you permission to sit around, digging splinters out of your ass while you pine for the coach. truth be told? i still pine away for a boy from college that married someone else and presently lives about 90 miles and 50 lifetimes away. he probably has children by now (WHAT GOOD IS FACEBOOK IF THE WHOLE WORLD IS NOT ON IT GODDAMMIT), and might not even remember me, but he was my best friend and more than that and i miss him (his wife is... a jealous kind. no female friends for him), and no boy ever measures up to the benchmark standards he set, the chivalrous jerk.

am i a hopeless cause? not quite, but getting there.

it's ok if match isn't your thing. it's ok if you're not interested, even in the name of blog science, in doing anything other than missing coach. go ahead; miss him. you'll probably come out on the other side having learned something about yourself. just don't turn into me, where you spend more time missing him than he misses you. once you start that lopsided cycle, you're in for more harm than good.

Kim said...

This post made me giggle. It was so tongue in cheek. Loved it.

I agree with Heather. You don't have to do anything that's not on your timetable. On the other hand, always remember when you need to give yourself a push to try something that can be great.

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