Sunday, June 26, 2011

Q & A: The Coach

You have questions about The Coach. As promised, I have answers.

(And plenty of questions of my own, but that is neither here nor there. Not today.)

I just want to know:...did you...or didn't you?
Did. Do. Yes. For sure.

Can you give some deets on the Coach's looks?
Oh, he's so cute. I know I've written that exact phrase describing his looks a dozen and a half times. It's because he is. So cute. I've never asked, but I imagine that he's been told that his whole life. I know a lot of girls who know The Coach: they all think that he's cute. His friends tease him and call him vain. I don't think that he's vain, but he cannot be ignorant to how very, very handsome he is.

He's attractive in a very all-American way. Over 6' tall. Broad shoulders. A mischievous smile. His hair is a sandy brown; his eyes are brown, too. And his nose reminds me a little bit of my sister's nose. He's in fantastic shape, but not intimidating, Greek God, 1% body fat, unattainably good shape and I like that about him.

The Coach is the best looking guy I've ever been with. It's actually a little bit intimidating, more so when this all started than it is now, but I'm still very aware of it. I'm simply not as effortlessly and classically attractive as he is. And it feels like an odd imbalance. (Although I don't feel cute enough for him, I do know what his ex-girlfriend looks like, I definitely fit into his "type," which is undoubtedly tiny blonde girls.)

Is he an "older" gent?
Yes. He's older than I am. He recently turned 33, so he's four years and some change older than me.

Does he blow Colin and The Groomsman out of the water?
That's a hard comparison to make. But, in every way that you can compare The Coach to Colin and to The Groomsman: yes. Absolutely.

It wasn't something that I thought about until now, actually, but The Coach has that confident, fun personality that attracted me to The Groomsman and he has that athlete's demeanor like Colin. But he actually likes me, unlike The Groomsman. And he doesn't have the issues or the excuses or the fondness for professional wrestling or the drinking problem that Colin always had.

Where he really, really blows Colin and The Groomsman out of the water is my comfort with him. With Colin and The Groomsman, I never took my guard down. I was never totally myself and totally comfortable. Ever. But with The Coach? I'm just myself. Not a panicked, uptight, trying-too-hard-to-be-perfect, afraid-to-make-a-mistake, terrified version of myself.

And also he's way more fun to make out with. So he is obviously the best.

Are you just having fun or do you think it could be something more?
We're just having fun.

If he were game for trying for something more, I would wholeheartedly support giving it a go. I think that our temperaments and intellect and personalities and interests are very complimentary. I think that he is a legitimately awesome, kind, fun, good guy. I like him a lot. And I'm really not sure he's ready to grow up and be accountable and let go of the bachelor lifestyle.

In terms of me being the one in the relationship (totally using that term loosely) who is calling the shots, yes, I think I'm doing more of that with The Coach than I have with any other guy. It's a combination of my growing up a bit from the days of Colin and The Groomsman and Luke, I think, and the fact that The Coach has made his interest in me very clear from the very beginning. It's a lot easier to set the direction of the ship when you know the the other party is securely on board.

Why is there an expiration date on this?
This whole business of an expiration date is related to his job. Because he is climbing up the ladder in coaching, he's pretty much obligated to go wherever he gets his best offer. And, simply due to the number of collegiate programs in the state, it isn't likely that he'll end up somewhere terribly close to where I live. I've always assumed that, when his season starts and he makes his move, we will be done.

That's not to say that we will be - I actually probably heard from him more when he was on campus (and lonely) in the winter than I hear from him now (in terms of text messages and phone calls, I mean) - but I'm compelled to remind myself of that reality on a regular basis.

Where do you think his head is with all of this? Do you KNOW he doesn't want more than just fun?
I have a hard time with this. Mostly, I think he's in it for the fun. Sometimes, he'll do or say something that strikes me as a little too sweet or a little too tender to be coming from a guy who is in it only for the fun. It makes my head spin.

We haven't had The Talk or any variation in which we discuss our status. Therefore, I don't know with certainty that he doesn't want more than just fun and, truthfully, I dislike entertaining that idea because it gets my hopes up.

And with that, friends, our humble little Q & A is a wrap!

Thanks for your questions. Attempting to put together a coherent answer to each of them was good for me, actually, in terms of thinking about this whole thing with The Coach in a way that isn't as raw and as immediate and as emotional as I normally approach thinking about what we have. This little exercise has cleared up a few things for me and, hopefully I've cleared up a bit for you, too.

Follow up questions? Leave 'em in the comments.


Susan said...

Oh! That was a fun read! Thanks so much for sharing. He sounds like a great, fun, HOT guy and it's great that you seem to be having such a good time with him.

Teagan B. Sawyer said...

Awesome awesome responses to the questions! I'm so glad you are having fun with the Coach...and I can't wait to see how it will all unfold :)

Its Just Me said...

I picture The Coach as Bradley Cooper in my mind for some reason!

Lauren said...

These were awesome! I'm really glad to see you out there just having fun and playing things by ear. It sounds like it's just working for you. And I'm with "it's just me" I keep picturing him as Bradley Cooper too...from the sexy black suit.

k said...

Now I can't get Bradley Cooper out of my mind :) I totally wasn't picturing an older man.

Love this.

OC said...

I picture Bradley Cooper too!

Can I ask a question? Does he or has he ever spent the night?

Anonymous said...


Does he coach at a different location during the season and then return home?

A said...

Bradley Cooper! OMG, you guys, I love it. I mean, we all know that he's not Bradley Cooper's twin because I, like, leave my bed on a regular basis (could I do that if he was BCoop's twin, um, NO NOT ALLOWED) but Bradley Cooper is the same family in terms of looks. If that makes any sense.

A said...

@OC (Hey girl! I miss you and I miss your blog!) - no, no sleepovers. I haven't pushed for it; he hasn't hung around so long that I've felt obligated to suggest it.

I guess it is sort of my way of keeping it categorized as fun rather than fun-but-I-want-it-to-be-more-so-badly-that-it-is-a-little-pathetic. Otherwise known as protecting myself.

A said...

@togethertheycome Right on. Basically, guys in his situation live wherever they're coaching at for the duration of the season (plus a couple weeks before and after) and then they go to wherever "home" is during the summertime so that they can golf and hang out and be irresponsible and not have to work. ...sounds good, right?

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