Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Fresh ink, fresh start

You all read it. (And if you didn't, read my archives from the end of August, 2010 until around December. You'll understand soon enough.) You know how hard it was for me. You left me sweet comments and sent me kind emails and held me up. Virtually, anyway.

My dad was cheating on my mom and I was the one who put the pieces together and it devastated me.

But it broke Meg.

While I put on a brave face and maintained a cautious relationship with my father throughout those long, long months when everything I'd ever known seemed to be falling apart, Meg was icy. And mean. And stubborn. And unforgiving. Every one of those emotions was understandable; our dad, her idol, hadn't only cheated on our mom. He lied to Meg. He was cruel to Meg. He was a man who was stuck in a corner and was fighting his way out and, in the process, he maimed Meg's heart.

And she hasn't been the same.

Their relationship has been civil, but it is not close. It is not the relationship that it was before this all happened. Meg is distant. Meg is still pissed off.

She's working on it. She's in therapy. And I just keep hoping that she can get past this because this is not the Meg I know. My Meg doesn't hold grudges and doesn't pass judgement. My Meg isn't pissed off all of the time.

Meg turns 25 on Saturday. To commemorate the occasion, she got a tattoo. Her fourth. I thought she was just going in for a consultation and to make an appointment, but she called me last night and broke the news: my tattooed little sister is now a little bit more inked.

She described the tattoo to me - written backwards so that she can read it in the mirror - and then she explained why she got it.

"I just feel like...with all of the things that happened with Dad and...oh, basically since I started graduate school, life has sucked and I haven't been myself. This is me getting back to myself."

25 is Meg's favorite number and, as it is the age that she is turning, she feels like it is a sign that she needs to start fresh. To get back to the basics of who she is (bold and loud and smart and funny and awesome) and who she wants to be. Her timing couldn't be more perfect: the next year will be her last year of graduate school and, on her birthday, she'll take her licensure exam.

It's going to be a big year. And if she needs a new tattoo to start it off on the right foot, then she needs a new tattoo.

She needed the tattoo.

And she probably needed the tattoo artist to give her a substantial discount for being so tough, too.

She went through hell and came out on the other side, but it never hurts to be reminded of how tough you can be.

A $50 discount never hurts, either.


Kim said...

That's an awesome reason to get a tattoo. And I hope she is able to get back to herself and move forward.

my life is brilliant said...

Agreed. That's as a good a reason as any, in fact. What is the tattoo? Is it the number 25, or something else?

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