Thursday, May 05, 2011

Chances and Confessions

“Take chances!”

It is Ashley’s favorite thing to say to me.

“Just stop thinking so much and take a chance!”

We were sitting at the bar last night – she’s home from North Carolina for a few days – when she reminded me that it was okay to take a few more chances. The new job is great, yes, but I should not stop there.

At one point in our conversation, she asked me if I’d taken any other chances lately. If I had broken from my mold and did something risky and uncharacteristic.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you,” I began. I bit my lip and, in a few short sentences, spilled about me and The Coach.

It is complicated, you see, because Ashley made out with The Coach a couple of years ago. And she knew that he had been texting me and calling me and she told me to go for it – way more than once – but I’m not exactly sure how excited she was when I told her that it actually happened. Not that she was mad or anything. But I don’t think that she was thrilled.

I’m glad that I told her, though. I felt like a horrible friend for not calling and confessing to that situation the minute it happened. So at least that part is done with.

But is that enough chance for her? No. A new job and a random bad decision of a boy and STILL she expects more from me.

And then she asked me about my trip to Switzerland and I could deliver.

I am not packed, I told her. I don’t really even know what the weather is going to be.

And I need to find my passport. Which I think might be at Mom and Dad’s house.

And I’m flying into Zurich and, eventually, I need to make my way to Lausanne and I have not even glanced at so much as a train schedule. Nor have I looked at a guide book or a forum or called to give my credit card company the heads up that I’ll be leaving the country. I haven’t researched the train that Liz and I will be taking from Lausanne to Milan, where we’ll be spending the weekend. I think that I want to go to Geneva for a day but I don’t have even a vague plan of what I would want to do there. Or anywhere else in Switzerland. Or Milan.

I spent a year planning last summer’s trip to South Africa and, for this trip: nothing. Absolutely nothing. Isn’t that a chance? Isn’t that a refreshing departure from the norm?

I still have a ways to go, Ashley insists. But the new job and the random-bad-decision-boy-who-may-or-may-not-be-in-a-relationship and the unplanned trip are a fine start.

“I told you that 2011 was going to be your year,” she said.

Seems like a lot of people are telling me that.

3 comments:

LLandL said...

I mean, let's be honest, 2010 was THE PITS.

2011 is showing *lots* of promise. Plus, gallavanting around Europe at your own leisure? Sounds like A DREAM.

Yay, you!

Teagan B. Sawyer said...

It totally has to be your year look at all the stuff that has happened and the year isn't even half over yet! Go you :)

k said...

I laugh at this because I was thinking today about my lack of planning (which I guess is considered taking a chance) for my upcoming trips. I finally booked my accommendations for my Germany trip - 2 weeks in advance, but in the past this would have been done as soon as I bought the plane ticket. I'm slightly worried about my trip to Alaska bc this lacking of planning might mean that we could starve out in the back country. I am not sure when I went from being uber planner to fly by the seat of my pants, but I kind of like it. Besides the potential starvation of course.

 
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