Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Bitch is Back In Town

I'm home! And in 10 hours I start my new job!

And I'm really annoyed with my father!

So, my dad drove me to the airport and that was great and I assumed that he was picking me up and that was great, too. I was hoping a little bit that my mom would go with him or maybe the dogs or something but it was just him and that was fine.

By the time I cleared customs and all of that, I had been traveling for more than 20 hours and I smelled a little bit and also I was tired even though I got some fairly decent sleep on the plane. So, sorry, Dad, when I wasn't TALK TALK TALK and YAY YAY YAY and STORY STORY STORY. We'll get to that eventually. I will also give you your present. (Which I may or may not have purchased at the airport, but you don't need to know that ever.)

So, he repeats the same small talk three times over ("aren't you glad you came back to this weather?") and asks me the same questions twice over ("what was the best part of your trip?") and I just kind of want to punch him in the face.

The trip was long enough that I was going to be a bit of a raging bitch no matter what. But, ever since my dad's whole cheating scandal broke at the end of last summer, I have less tolerance for him. That is probably wrong, but it is true. The weird shit that he does used to just be part of the whole that was my crazy dad. I find the weird shit significantly less charming these days.

Anyway, at one point in the drive back to my apartment, he grabs my hand to hold it. TO HOLD MY HAND. And I was like "um, seriously, what the fuck?" I think I told him that it was weird (it is) and stuffed it into my purse or something and I think I might have made him cry because when I turned to look at him a few minutes later, I'm pretty sure I saw moisture on his cheek. Whoops.

My mom called to welcome me home and she was like "your dad was texting me today and he said 'our girl comes home today!'" Was there any question that I wasn't? Also creepy and weird.

And then Dad and I get back to my apartment, where he left me good-luck-on-your-first-day roses and also a card that he signed from both him and my mom and I guess that was nice except that meant that he made a special trip to my apartment to drop those off and that is also almost weird and unnecessary as the hand holding. (HAND HOLDING! WTF?)

So, I'm like "thanks for dropping me off, but you have to go because I need to go to the grocery store even though it is 9:30 pm." And he is all shocked because I'm going to go to the grocery store and I'm like "dude, I have no milk and no food to bring to work tomorrow, it isn't like I have any choice."

And then I get to my car - which he had driven a bit while I was gone (totally cool with me) - and obviously the tank was mostly empty so I got to go to the gas station, too.

The whole thing was really fucking weird and, honestly, if you'd like to do something nice for me when I get home from vacation (other than pick me up from the airport, which is seriously really f'ing nice), just buy me a gallon of skim milk and leave me with a bit of gas in my car. And don't try to hold my hand.


Kari said...

Welcome home!
I think your dad is becoming more sentimental (likely too he is realizing that he almost lost it all).
Happy first day at your new job!!

Shelley said...

Good luck on your first day!

I agree that the hand holding is a bit weird but I agree with Kari in that he probably realizes what he almost lost. You can still be mad at him but at least he's making an effort (albeit a weird one). I can only wish my dad went out of his way to do something nice for me without the help or cajoling from my mom.

Teagan B. Sawyer said...

Welcome home! Hmmm definitely weird...parents are weird and I can identify that sometimes it just isn't the time to "reach out" like after a 20 hour+ flight etc. Hope your first day goes amazing!

Thisisme said...


Def weird on your dad's part! You may look at it all different once the jet lagging isn't kicking your butt though. . . maybe?!

my life is brilliant said...

I kept thinking the same thing as Kari -- that he just regrets what he did and is aware of how close he was to losing you guys.

I can understand having less patience, but I think his heart was probably in the right place. The delivery may have been a little off, but I think his intensions were sweet.

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