Tuesday, December 28, 2010

A bad idea (maybe)

There are a lot of really cute boys who work for my company.

It is fortunate for both my sanity and my professional reputation that most of them work outside of my office. Or only work on a contract basis for a few weeks every year, like The Athlete. (Who didn’t come home from Europe this Christmas. Which kept me from getting all gooey about him, as I tend to do, and is probably a good thing.)

John worked full-time for my company for a few years.

Everyone knows that John is smoking hot. The guys who I work with are always teasingly saying things like “oh, that John, he is just so cute” or “pretty face, not much for brains” whenever John’s name is mentioned.

He was in a different office – working with my friend Ashley, actually – but we worked pretty closely. I always thought that he was a nice guy and a fun guy, but it wasn’t like we had much of a relationship outside of work. Like, maybe we went to the bar a few times. Whatever. He left the company about 18 months ago for an absolute dream job. He lives about three hours away and comes back occasionally – mostly in the summer and around the holidays – and does a bit of work for my company.

So, last week he was doing a little bit of consulting at the office just down the street from mine. I was at that building for one reason or another and I saw him from a distance. We waved and he sort of yelled to me that he would come over to my office to say hello when he was done for the day but he never did and I never thought twice about it.

On Sunday afternoon, I get a text message from him. Except that I didn’t know it was him because I drowned my phone this fall and never programmed his number back in. I assumed that he was texting me with a work question – he’s doing a little work for the company again this week – and I was wrong.


Or a booty text. Whatever.

That dirty whore was at a bar by where I used to live and was, essentially, inviting himself over. For various reasons – none of which involve clothes. Classy. And, of course, when I told him that I didn’t live nearby any more, he was not dissuaded. What’s a few extra miles when you’re trying to get in the pants of your ex-coworker-who-is-sort-of-still-your-coworker? Yeah. Awkward.

And tempting because, you guys, he’s REALLY, REALLY attractive. And tall. And personable. And maybe a little bit dumb but, um, I’m really not going to be administering any sort of IQ tests in that setting. If I was at home (I was at Mom and Dad’s) and didn’t have plans that night (we were going to see Dreamgirls)...well...who knows? Like I said: TEMPTING.

Instead of running off to rendezvous with Johnny, I sent a text message to Ashley because the least I could do was share the amusement with others. “OMG, YOU SHOULD SEE WHAT JOHN IS TEXTING ME.” Of course, she was all “make out with him! Do it!” I took her advice to heart. She is an expert. She made out with him shortly after they both quit their full-time jobs with my company. After he called. And invited himself over to her house.

Yes. This is apparently his thing.

Being a man whore is also his thing because, after he realized that he wasn’t getting any from me, HE STARTED TEXTING ASHLEY. Wanting to stop by for a visit.
I’m fairly certain that he must have decided to start at the top of his phone book and work his way down. Or see how many former coworkers he could seduce before the end of the year.

Whore whore whore.

And, yet, still really hot. And still really tempting.

He keeps texting me.

It is a very bad idea.

But I don’t often give in to bad ideas.

Which makes me think that it is a good idea.

(It still isn’t.)


Accidentally Me said...

Not remotely a bad idea. You don't work together, you think he is super hot, and you have no interest in actually dating him. Sounds like everything is pretty well aligned, no?

And if your friend Ashley has already had that sort of experience with him and found it fun enough to recommend that you do the same...well, that is a pretty good endorsement!

Also, find your way back to gChat! I miss you!

k said...

You should listen to Ashley. Live it up girl, you are only young once! It is okay to hookup with a manwhore if you acknowledge that he is a manwhore.

And hopefully soon he won't be your sorta-coworker anymore anyway!

my life is brilliant said...

Bow chika wow wow! ;)

Mrs. Architect said...

I totally agree with the first two commenters! Have fun, girl!

A said...

Oh, I will. ...the next time he is in town. Hopefully. ;)

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