Thursday, October 28, 2010

Things that I want to do but am not:

  • Email Her on her work account, just so she knows that I know where she works.
  • Change my dad’s Facebook status to “cheated on my wife of 35 years with (insert Her name here).”
  • Fax the 200 pages of Her cell phone statement to Her at Her office.
  • Facebook Her daughter, who had her first child last weekend, to clue her in to the situation.
  • Drop by my dad’s office, preferably when he is not there, to remove all photos of me/Mom/Meg from his desk.
  • Friend Her daughter/husband on Facebook, just so my name shows up on Her newsfeed.
  • Break my dad’s nose.
  • Show up at Her job.
  • Call Her house.
  • Call Her cell phone.
  • Call Her at work.
  • Key my dad’s Mustang – AKA his midlife-crisis-mobile.
  • Mail Her a congratulations card. Inside, congratulate her for ruining two marriages.
  • Mail Her brochures on STDs. And counseling. And for a church or two.
  • Send a mass email to all family/family friends, alerting them of what a shady douchebag my father is.
  • Show up at Her house. Preferably on Halloween.
  • Post Her phone number somewhere on the internet. Like Craigslist.

So, I guess what I’m saying is that I’d like to do something illegal. Self restraint, don’t fail me now!


Thisisme said...

Deep BREATHS!! The good thing about this entire situation is that you, Meg and your SAINT of a mother are better the the other lack of brains people involved in the situation. They'll suffer eventually if they haven't begun to already!

Anonymous said...

I believe in karma, I do. My dad is a perfect example. I love my dad dearly and actually have always been closer to him than my mom and would never want anything bad to happen to him.....but when he's 61 and complains about being lonely because the bitch he cheated on my mom with left him...I think of karma.

I think you should knock on her door on Halloween and yell, "TRICK OR CHEATER!!!!"

Not really. But I hope you laughed at that.

my life is brilliant said...

Oh my gosh, I love togethertheycome. That last line made me laugh. :) Actually, the last two did.

When I found out about my mom, I actually looked up the asshole she cheated with in the phone book. He's lucky Bill Harris is such a popular name. I wanted to ask him who the hell he thought he was for putting his dick before my brother, me, another man (my dad), and his own family. I wanted to ask him if that stupid affair and whatever temporary pleasure it brought him was worth all the grief it caused my family and his family. I wanted to tell him he is a fucking asshole.

I still want to.

I'll never forget that name.

I never called him, but not for lack of trying. Stupid common names.

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