Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain

My mom has been so classy. Through this entire ordeal, she has been exceptional. She admits to moments when she’s cruel – asking questions about the other woman, pointing out what a stupid move he made – but Dad has been lucky. She could have just kicked him out of the house. She could have made his life a living hell. Instead, she’s held her head up and insisted that she believes that people make mistakes and she believes in her 35 years of marriage.

She certainly wasn’t expecting that, yesterday, my dad would get up in the morning and say that he’s moving out.

But apparently that is what happened. I don’t know if he said “I’m moving out forever” or “I’m moving out for a little while” or “I’m moving out and let’s see what happens,” all I know is that he didn’t come home last night and I’m not exactly sure that he’s welcome to come home any time in the near future.

He really fucked himself this time. As though cheating on my mom wasn’t enough. He had forgiveness handed to him on a silver platter and he still blew it. What a fucking tool.

And he didn’t even have the balls to call me yesterday. I got a lame “I’m Sorry I never meant to hurt You I Love you” (sweet use of capitalization, yo) text message this morning. Thanks, man. That means a lot. For my father to leave my mother and then send me a FUCKING TEXT MESSAGE. You’re cool.

He should have left in September, when this all came out. If he didn’t want to try – and I don’t think that six weeks of therapy is trying – then he shouldn’t have strung us along. The one punch to the gut was plenty, thanks. The part where he gave us just enough time to heal before punching us again was rather unnecessary.

Life can change direction so quickly. I was going to go home last night and eat pasta and read and go to bed before 10:00. Instead, I sat at the kitchen counter with my mom, Meg and Aunt Annette (Dad’s older sister) and I had to call Lucy last night to see if Chet could come over to change the locks (he’s a locksmith) and I stayed at the house last night because I couldn’t stand to leave my mom alone.

I cannot believe that this is my father. I cannot believe that this is who he has turned out to be. I am Dorothy. He is the wizard. And it’s a fucking shame that what I found behind the curtain is such a pathetic joke of a man.


Caitlin at Healthy Tipping Point said...

I am really sorry :(

Anonymous said...

This is the worst. My dad also cheated on my mom. Twice. He was caught the second time by my older brother. I was a senior and the brother was in college.

I remember wishing my mom should've just let it end the first time, because I'm not sure what's worse, the separation when you are young or when you are older.

My thoughts are with you.

Hugs, hugs, hugs.

Mrs. Architect said...

Oh sweetie I am SO sorry to hear this. Some how, some way, something good will come of all of this. I'm a firm believer that it HAS to, because your mom and you and your sister are such wonderful people. The universe doesn't allow people like yall NOT to come out on top of things.

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Susan said...

I'm so sorry to hear all this, A. My BFF went through this with his parents in college, and you know what? His mom has ended up happily remarried to a really good guy and his dad is still just floating in and out of relationships. And the kids are all doing alright.

I don't know if that information is comforting for you or not, but I've heard often from the BFF and other people who have been through it that oftentimes the situation is hardest on the person who does the leaving. Everyone else was able to move on because they knew they were in the right, but the 'leaver' always doubts if they've made the right decision. I guess I'm just trying to say what you're feeling and going through right now is totally normal and totally tough, and I get that you'll be angry with your dad for a long time but in the end he will probably be beating himself up over this more than you or your sister or mother ever could. His not calling you probably has a lot to do with that. You're the one who discovered his infidelity and he just can't 'face' you right now.

Wishing you and your family lots of strength right now...

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