Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Keep going

It was only a week ago that my dad told my mom about his infidelity.

It feels like it was much longer than that. Last Wednesday, the day that I sat at my desk and wiped away tears for 10 hours, seems months ago.

I am distancing myself from this. Fast. And I'm doing it the only way that I know how: by being busy. Busy with work. Busy visiting my cousins. Busy cleaning my apartment. Busy with my best friends, who are quietly supportive and quick to schedule distractions. Busy exercising. Busy with the start of my hockey season. Busy bringing the girls to the dog park. Busy learning fantasy football. Busy checking in on Meg, who I'm still worried about. Busy reading healthy living blogs. Busy trying to keep my head above water.

I'm afraid to stop. I'm afraid that, if I stop, this will all soak in. I was hit by a torrential downpour, but maybe if I keep going, I can shed the droplets before they have the chance to reach my skin.

And so I keep running. I keep going. I focus on what is directly ahead of me. I pretend not to notice the length of this unfortunate path as I keep my eyes forward; I am always moving, trying to dodge the raindrops.


Mrs. Architect said...

Do whatever you have to keep going. One day, it WILL get better. I promise!

my life is brilliant said...

I kept myself really busy when my parents went through their divorce. The separation started when I was 19.

In the days before I went home after the worst part of it, I found myself feeling more and more stressed. By the time I needed to get in the car and go, I realized I didn't want to. All I could do was cry.

So I did.

I felt better. It was actually the only time I cried about the whole thing. I wanted to be sure I wasn't avoiding it, so I started going to a counselor.

I'd recommend the same. You've been through a lot. There's probably more to go.

You don't have to do it on your own.

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