Tuesday, September 07, 2010

I've entered the crying stage

He’s telling her tonight.

Or so he says.

Yesterday, Meg told him that he had until Wednesday to tell Mom or we’d do it ourselves. He implied that, by doing so, we’d end our family as we know it. Like letting out the SECRET is the problem, not his selfish fucking actions that was the match to this fire.

I believe that he honestly thought that we would keep this secret for him.
He asked for time. He said that he wanted to talk to us later in the week. He wanted, basically, to talk us out of our ultimatum.

When we left the house yesterday, we left it at that. I spent most of the night feeling sick. Telling my mom is the right thing to do – I really believe that – but knowing that her knowledge of the truth could finish off their marriage is terribly scary for me. Their strong marriage is all I have ever known. My secure family has always been enviable. I’ve never had to even consider life with my parents as two separate units. This incident has cracked me. Divorce will tear a gaping chasm in my foundation.

I’m relatively okay with knowing that my mom and dad’s marriage isn’t perfect. I’m significantly less okay with it not existing.

He changed his Facebook password this morning. Meg called him out on it and he said it was because he felt like his privacy was being invaded.

Like that fucker deserves the right to privacy.

And then he told her that, other than the Facebook request, he hadn’t been in contact with the other woman. Yet he knew about the message Meg sent her yesterday. It doesn’t add up.

And he said that he would tell Mom tonight and that he knew, with certainty, that it would result in one of them moving out of the house. Maybe he’s just trying to scare us. Maybe he believes that it is true.

God, I hope he’s wrong. I hope they fight for this. I hope that my mom reacts exactly how I’ve envisioned her reacting: with a lot of rage and a determination to keep their marriage together so that she can make his life a living hell for as long as it takes for her to get over what he did.

I’m not angry anymore. I’m fucking terrified.


Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for all of this happening.

I'd like to say, "Why do people do this?" But that's so cliche. Because people do.

I'm just so sorry and I'm thinking about your family a lot.

Bill Robertson said...

more prayers are on the way

Mrs. Architect said...

I'm so so sorry. Hugs and hugs and more hugs!!!!

Lauren said...

Sending hugs your way, and praying for your strength, and for your family as a whole.

my life is brilliant said...

I've been thinking of you all day. I'll be praying for your family tonight, especially your mom.

Kari said...

Crying is good -- am really praying for you and your family. You will get through this -- it will be tough and it's totally not fair...but here's hoping this is the last shit you will have to deal with for a long time (ie no one else dying, treating you like crap, etc). I say your luck is due to change.
Also ...am wondering if it will come as a surprise to your mom or if she has had some suspicions -- you said that she has seemed distant and sad -- am wondering if she has suspected something. I am guessing Meg got one dose of her fighting gene from your mom (because she obviously has two copies of it!!)...plus she is a college prof -- those chicks are tough!
Anyhow-- lots of prayers and hugs for you...is there any Canadian candy I can send you??

s said...

I've taken a blogging hiatus, but I still read your blog all the time and just got caught up tonight. i am so so sorry to hear about this. I'm sending lots of thoughts and prayers your way.

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