Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Because I feel betrayed, too

I am trying
Hard
To hold it together

I understand
Now
Why alcohol is
Oftentimes
Suitable
In situations such as
These

Self medicating
(I’m not,
But
I think that I would
Like to)

Situations
Such
As
These

Situations that are
Maddening
Unfair
Awkward
Foggy
Confusing
Idiotic
Scary
And nothing
NOTHING
I ever signed up to deal with

I am on eggshells
Always on the verge of a phone call
To Lucy
To Meg
To Ashley
To my mom
Because holding this in,
While
Calculating my next move,
Is impossibly difficult,
A never-ending anxiety attack
And excruciatingly horrible

Blogging is a relief
But not a solution

Conducting
Further research
(You may call this
Snooping)
Only continues
To solidify my
Worst
Worst
Fears
And make me
More
More
More
Anxious
And generally solve nothing

I have
The skeleton
Of a plan
And a ton
Of anxiety
And doubts
That I can hold
My tongue
For all that much
Longer

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fuck, that sucks lady. Wish I could pour you a giant glass of red wine.
-betsy

Accidentally Me said...

You need to talk to him sooner rather than later. It is only gonna get worse if you let it fester...the situation could get more dire and your own mental health will deteriorate with the worrying. Me thinks that maybe Aly needs to have a date with Dad pronto!

Mrs. Architect said...

Wish I was there to give you a big hug in person. Let me know if little ole me way down here can do anything to help.

Anonymous said...

I agree with pretty much all that Accidentally Me said. Right now you are the one suffering the most. I can understand not wanting to accuse your dad if you aren't 100% sure, but I don't know if you will ever be 100% sure without talking to him about it.

Hugs!

 
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