Monday, August 09, 2010

Oh, puke

Yesterday was soccer Sunday.

For the third game in a row, Colin's BFF was our referee.

It is sort of nice seeing him. Reminds me of old times, you know? We usually exchange a "so, how is life? Everything okay?" before games and it never gets past that. Believe me, I'm not asking about Colin.

...who I haven't seen in well over a year. It's been 18 months, at least.

Anyway.

Colin's BFF is a nice enough kid but he's a little shady. He was always trying to get Colleen to go out with him. And, when she refused him for the 97th time, he started going after Ashley. ...after only seeing her picture on Facebook. He's chubby and awkward and just insecure enough that he can come off as a really, really arrogant prick. He doesn't have a real job. And he chews tobacco (which I find to be disgusting) and has a wonky front tooth because of it. But none of that was ever my problem. He was Colin's friend. Colin's problem. I just saw him at the bar occasionally.

And, now, at my soccer games.

Speaking of soccer games: back to yesterday's.

We're in the first half of the game and my team gets a corner kick. I get the ball. It is hot and humid and we have no subs and I am just dying. "Do you know CPR?" I ask Colin's friend as I walk by him to get the ball. "Because I seriously may die."

"Well, I'm not certified, but I think I can..."

"Good enough." I grab the ball and head back towards the sideline.

"But, you know, it might be awkward giving you CPR. Seeing as how I've made out with your sister."

"EXCUSE ME. WHAT?"

"Uh, I went on a few dates with your sister? You didn't know that?"

"I didn't know that. And I'm going to pretend that I never heard about it, either. Seriously? UGH."

And then I took the corner kick. Which was supposed to be high and lofty and bend in towards the goalie just like David Beckham would've done.

Instead, I just kicked it out of bounds.

1 comments:

Stace said...

As I sit here and cover my face so I don't laugh out loud. OMG. love it!

 
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