Thursday, March 18, 2010

Roses are red, knuckles are white

Red roses. 18. At the corner of my desk. Pushed back. So they don't get knocked over. So I don't get asked about them.

They were delivered to my office this morning. I blushed, profusely. My work dad asked about them. My asshole coworker asked about them. And counted them. And smelled them. And harassed me about them. The ladies of my office cooed. I didn’t know what to do.

From Luke, of course. The thoughtful, nice boy who is moving lightning fast.
I sent a few panicked text messages to my friends. “Enjoy it,” I was told, as though I wasn’t. I don’t know where they got that from. Certainly not from my text message, which read something like “OMG. I just had flowers delivered to my office. Fuck. This is intense.” I mean, really. Where would they get such an idea?!

* * *

Heather’s friend Rivka recently went on a fairly successful date with Luke’s friend.
That’s how she ended up in my car last night, accompanying me to the bar were Luke and his friends gathered to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day.

It was good to have someone, someone impartial, to see us. To tell me what she thinks. To listen to me admit, on our ride over, that I’m not sure. “He’s incredibly nice and sweet and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with him,” I sighed. “I’m just not sure.”

“He really likes you.” She told me in the car on our ride home. After he spent the evening at my side. After he walked us to my car. After he kissed me goodnight. “He told me. He told me that he really likes you.”

Not that he hasn’t told me the same thing. It’s just different, I guess, hearing it coming out of someone else’s mouth.

“He really likes you,” she told me again, via text message, today.

I know.

I know he does.

And I’m scared.


Anonymous said...

Is the reason why you aren't sure if you like him because you are scared because he is moving fast. If so, then I think you should tell him that you don't move as fast as him and that it is making you nervous (and potentially pushing you away). If you aren't sure if you like him because of other things, maybe you don't like him... I think after a bunch of "failures" in the land of dating - sometimes it seems so foreign to meet someone who really treats you well. I know that because I've been dicked around a few times, I am really wary of the nice guy, but I keep reminding myself that there are nice guys out there and I deserve them.

Kari said...

Ditto the misadventuresofk. Tell him you need to take it more slowly. Just hang out...see what happens...I think you might be a little gun shy...but then again maybe you may not like him. Give yourself time. Enjoy being the centre of someone's universe. Has he met your friends yet? What about your sis? They might be able to see something with your interaction. Remember you don't have to figure this out can take your time, learn about him, learn about yourself and have some fun. Don't feel guilty about leading him on, your not. You're dating, you are not getting married next week. It will work itself out one way or another and no you won't end up crushing him.
Oh and go to totally need it right now :)

Kari said...

Oh and stop obsessing over the flowers...they are just flowers.
(easy for me to say) :) If nothing else they have given your coworkers something to gossip about and that is always worth it! :)

Accidentally Me said...

Triple ditto...I have little new to add to that, or to what I said earlier via gchat.

Let's be honest, though, this is super fun:-) Way better than the jackass boys, huh?

my life is brilliant said...

What misadventuresofk said! Perfect advice.

I definitely like this guy. Like I said, awesome taste! ;)

Stace said...

EIGHTEEN??? I got one! :) hahaha I need more time to read! Either way, I agree with everyone else OBVIOUSLY take it slow, enjoy it, let him know what's on your mind, and maybe you aren't that into him. . . . . GOOD LUCK!

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