Wednesday, January 06, 2010

The Switzerland Attempt

Date with The Groomsman tonight. Wheeee! Oh, how I adore that kid. Oh, how sillynervousexcited I am merely by the prospect of seeing him. Oh, how I have no idea what I am going to wear.

This dating stuff is equal parts exhausting and exhilarating. The exhausting part involves making sure that my hair doesn’t make me look like Medusa, wearing something other than yoga pants, being on top of my game enough that I don’t do or say anything terribly rude/ridiculous/offensive. And the exhilarating part is all of the rest. Sliding into the passenger seat of his car. Listening to him laugh.

I keep trying not to let my hopes not to get too high. I want to take inventory of his attributes, everything about him that makes him seem near perfect, and I want to compare it to Colin, to The Athlete. I want to marvel. He fascinates me.

And I want to be neutral. To enjoy his company but not crave it. To recognize his flaws, because we all have a few. I want to keep my feet on the ground. Because I am afraid that, as soon as I go head over heels, it will be gone. That’s how it happens with me, isn’t it? I blink and it is over.

Straddling what I want to feel and what I’m allowing myself to feel is difficult.

One of these days, I am just going to have to let go and fall hard.

But not just yet.

3 comments:

Thisisme said...

HAVE FUN!!!!!

kristin said...

squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! and you do look like the girl from mamma mia! love it. :)

my life is brilliant said...

Yaaaaay! Can't wait to hear how it is. I'm sure he's feeling exactly the same way!

 
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